Silent Little Mermaid
by littlemaiko
Summary: A story about a mercenary haunted by his lost love and a chamberlain who becomes the silent ghost from the past. Note: the plot revolves around gay romance. Completed.
1. Silent Little Mermaid 1

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
NOTES: Some major events in this story are AU. Special Thanks to Romy for providing Odessa/Jess similarity in our role-play scenario. Much of ideas in this story are attributed to Romy's inspirations. The foundation of the plot is a major SPOILER for Suikoden 1. The story consists of 12 chapters.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
A prince, chained to memories of a lost love.  
A mermaid, pining for love never to be returned.  
A mercenary, trapped in a nightmare of his love's death.  
A chamberlain, forced to become a ghost from the past.  
Two men left behind by those they loved, seeking...  
  
  
  
  
~ SILENT LITTLE MERMAID 1 ~  
  
  
  
  
Jess frowned a little more than usual, his tea-brown eyes scanning the tavern distastefully. He would never have entered the rowdy little place if he had not been sent there by Shu to fetch "the blue one." It was rare that the cold strategist summoned Flik instead of Viktor. Of course, Jess obeyed rather than question. Things worked out easier that way, for his stress level and that of other JSCA administrators. He found the desired azure-clad mercenary at the counter; heading straight there, the chamberlain got rid of the frown in exchange for a business-like poker face. It was a becoming expression for his personality but not for his appearance. Smooth, white skin and soft, kitten-fur brown hair hindered his effort to look like a nondescript carrier of message.  
  
"Flik."  
  
"Mister chamberlain. Fancy seeing you here." Flik nodded nonchalantly, his disinterest apparent. However, he did turn his face and narrowed both cerulean blue eyes.  
  
"Sir Shu wishes to see you."  
  
"...Hmm. Why not Viktor?" Knowing more than Jess about the relationship between Viktor and Shu, Flik turned the rotatable stool to face the chamberlain.  
  
"I would not know. Please go to Sir Shu's office, Flik."  
  
Bright-colored eyes almost pierced into the back of Jess' brown ones, making him blink. The young chamberlain hid the flinch quickly and stared defiantly back at the older man. When Flik's well-shaped lips curled into a pleasant smirk, it took Jess by a surprise.  
  
"Don't be so uptight all the time, mister chamberlain." Flik slid the jug of ale back to Leona and slipped off of the high chair. His gaze ran over Jess once, unobvious nostalgia flickering across his face. "Ones like you... it's better if showed a bit more outward flare."  
  
"You wouldn't know what is best for me, Flik. I conveyed the message, so if you will excuse me."  
  
Left alone, Flik shrugged lightly and paid for his drink. He hadn't meant to upset Jess; on the contrary, he had hoped for a short talk. Of course, he figured that he didn't deserve to spend time with the prissy little chamberlain. His interest in the younger man lay solely upon the beautiful auburn-tinted brown hair and tea eyes.  
  
"The resemblance is only skin deep, I guess."  
  
Even the remote similarity was welcome. Flik toyed with his faded bandana, finally moving out of the bar to get to the destination given to him.  
  
**********  
  
"Tell me that I didn't hear you right."  
  
Flik scowled, an expression rare for his personality. The receiver of the vicious look, Shu, didn't even raise an eyebrow. The elegant strategist just checked on the paper laid out on his desk and reconfirmed what he had just said.  
  
"You did. Since you and Viktor will lead separate teams on far ends of the field and all other fighting hands are needed for battles, I asked Jess to act as the carrier of commands. He only needs to make two trips, to and fro. He will be fine."  
  
"...And he will not be much loss to JSCA if he got killed. Is that why you assigned him to the position?"  
  
Shu chuckled in obvious amusement at the accusal. He regarded the blue-clad mercenary calmly, crossing his slender fingers together. "Do you think that I will resort to such a cold-blooded strategy without stronger merits? If we lost Jess, the loss will outweigh the gain. I will never waste valuable personnel."  
  
"I sincerely hope that you don't betray my trust." Shaking his head, Flik reflected upon his distrust toward the elegant Asian. He knew that Shu was not the bad sort at heart; he had that much faith in Viktor's taste in a love interest. However, he also didn't know the head strategist well enough to make a definite judgement.  
  
"If it will ease your mind to know... Jess will ride across thickets protected by our troop. The chances of him getting killed is next to none. I had to ask him because he was the only non-fighting personnel who could ride well." Seemingly occupied with paperwork at hand, Shu pushed back loose strands of black hair falling across his shoulder.   
  
"All right. Is there anything else you need me to know?" Flik dropped the subject altogether, his tone still hard.  
  
"No. Don't forget the formation."  
  
"I won't."  
  
The famed Blue Thunder left the neatly-kept office, glad to be out of Shu's presence. He still couldn't pinpoint the reason for his discomfort around the beautiful strategist. No, he did, to be truthful. Viktor's free time had been his until Shu came along; lack of usual companion made him inevitably lonely.  
  
// Three years without Odessa. Maybe I grew too attached to that bear. //  
  
The thought of himself being attached to Viktor made Flik feign a cringe. After all, the man was his best friend and not a love interest of any sort. He had no prejudice against having such feelings for another man, but at least, he could say with confidence that Viktor was not his type.  
  
"...Definitely not my taste."  
  
**********  
  
Sudden visit by Blue Thunder surprised Jess rather than displease him. Going for the pristine tea set from Harmonia that he reserved for guests, the young chamberlain poured a cup of light-colored peach tea. He didn't care if Flik didn't prefer sweet drink. The only responsibility he had toward a visitor was to entertain them with customary politeness.  
  
"Please take a seat, Flik."  
  
"Thanks." Flik studied the aromatic liquid closely, taking the cup in his hand, tiny plate and all. The chair offered to him was stiff and uncomfortable, as if it hadn't been occupied since the purchase. The room in its entirety represented Jess' personality; spotless white curtain and carpet provided uptight atmosphere, along with scarce furniture all made of oak wood and shelves lined perfectly with leather-bound books. The first comment that popped up in Flik's mind about the room was "neat-freak", second being "unpractically clean."  
  
"What brings you here?" Pouring a cup of tea for himself, Jess took the seat across from Flik and simply inquired.  
  
"I heard that you are participating in the next battle as a carrier."  
  
"That is correct," Jess nodded disinterestedly.  
  
"...Have you been out in a fight before? Other than that mess at Tinto, that is."  
  
Light-brown gaze hardened at the mention of a mistake, and Jess put down his cup to hold his hands together over crossed legs. He had certain amount of regret toward what he had done to Musean soldiers at Tinto, but that was none of Flik's business. Measuring his answer as not to dig himself in for another put-down, Jess plainly said, "No."  
  
"Huh. If I didn't know better, I'd call Shu stupid."  
  
"Why do you care, Flik? I'm willing to perform the duty given. It is none of your business."  
  
Flik almost smirked at the glaring look Jess gave him. He recalled someone else with same eyes looking at him thus; only, such look given by Odessa would have gone away with a kiss on a cheek. He considered trying the same tactics out on this chamberlain, but he decided against it. After all, those prissy hands were likely to slap him silly if he tried.  
  
"I've seen more than one fool who said the same thing and didn't come back from the battlefield alive. That's all."  
  
"From the factor of risk, I would think your position more dangerous than mine. I heard that you are leading one sector at the front line." Jess refused to be unnerved by the sinister remark. The mess Flik had referred to had been his first fight; although he had made a complete fool of himself then, he didn't plan on repeating the same mortification.  
  
"Yeah, but I'm a mercenary. You are a collar-worker."  
  
"I don't appreciate that comment."  
  
"I'm just telling you the truth. It's best that we each do what we do best. In my case, fighting. In your case..." Flik wondered shortly, realizing then that he didn't know a thing about what Jess did at JSCA. "What do you do?"  
  
"Statistics, accounting, estimation of human and other resources. ...Flik, if there is nothing more to discuss, I would appreciate privacy." Shaking his head, Jess picked up the thick ledger he had left out from before Flik came into the room.  
  
"So thorny. You act as though the entire world's against you." Flik shrugged and set down the tea which he had barely touched. "A smile or two wouldn't kill you, mister chamberlain."  
  
"...Kindly leave, Flik."  
  
"I will. Don't bite."  
  
Jess didn't try to push Flik out, but he did shut the door tightly as soon as the blue-clad mercenary was outside. He couldn't be bothered by a mere hand-for-hire; there was so much to be done, his usual paperwork and the weekly census waiting at the desk. How Flik had taken up so much of his precious time, he didn't know. The last remark made him bitter.  
  
"...I don't bite, idiot..."  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	2. Silent Little Mermaid 2

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 2 ~  
  
  
  
  
Jess rode well. Flik had to give the chamberlain that much. Having conveyed the necessary message, Jess maneuvered the brown-maned steed back and into the dark forest. Of course, compared to ones like Camus and Miklotov, who had practically grown up riding upon war-horses, his techniques were amateur. For the purpose of carrying commands, however, his current skills were more than good enough.  
  
// At least, there's no worry about him falling off that horse. //  
  
Flik turned back immediately to the battle at hand, not being the one to dally over thoughts unrelated to the war at times like this. His sword, Odessa, never betrayed his trust; the sharp edge easily severed into flesh of Highlander soldiers.  
  
"Retreat to the second position!"  
  
Remembering Shu's strategic formation, Flik hollered over his men and lead them back about two hundred steps. By now, the group of mages led by Luc must be reading incantations for an attack. Just as he looked up to the sky, dark clouds formed and brought along pillars of lightening.  
  
"Don't attack yet!! Wait for the second wave!"  
  
Flik cleared his throat to rid whirling dust from his windpipe. The short wait for the second magical attack gave him the time to muse over unimportant things. The way Jess had disappeared into the forest on horseback reminded him of how Odessa used to ride. The young Silverberg woman had been a fine rider, too, but her skills belonged to fenced track rather than the battlefield.  
  
// Another similarity. Not bad at all, I guess. //  
  
The bloody dust storm cleared after countless thunderbolts, prompting for Flik's men to go back to the fight. Highlander soldiers were either dead, injured, or shaken by the spell. If all went well, this battle would be another victory for JSCA.  
  
Just as the blue-clad swordsman ran his gaze across the line of enemy fighters, he noticed a troop of archers getting ready to fire. He cursed under his breath and raised his right hand where the Thunder Rune was engraved. The array of bolts he shot out struck home.  
  
"...Damn!" Flik gritted, seeing that instead of killing the archers, his magic had merely misdirected their attack. Arrows flew up and over his men, diving diagonally into the small-scaled forest.  
  
// The chances are, those things would miss Jess by far. ...But did I think about such chances when I left Odessa for the last time? //  
  
The small voice in the back of his head drove Flik into turning his dark steed. He ordered his mercenaries to keep on fighting, that he would be back in a matter of minutes. By the looks, he knew that the tide of the battle had turned toward JSCA victory; even if he didn't return, there wouldn't be a problem. Just to give his men an edge, he threw another thunder magic to enemy front line before going into the forest.  
  
Bad intuition began gnawing at Flik. As of late, he had developed a fairy accurate sixth sense, just like his bear-like friend. Deaths and such were easy to predict. He only hoped that the one he felt now didn't apply to Jess.  
  
**********  
  
Eyeing the thick white bandage sullenly, Jess touched his neck and winced at the throb of pain that slight pressure induced. He opened his mouth and took in a small breath to voice a simple syllable; when nothing more than a shallow wheeze came out at a price of horrible pain, he clenched his eyes shut and turned away from the sink and the mirror hung above it.  
  
// At least, I am alive. ...I can still work even if I can't speak... //  
  
When a shower of arrows fell upon him in the forest, Jess had dodged it by jumping off of the horse. He had managed to evade all except for one. The misfortune was that the only one that struck home had pierced through his neck. Excruciating pain assaulted him with each breath, and when he came to, he had been brought back to Huan's office at the Camelot.  
  
For the better or for the worse, Flik had found Jess in the forest path. Immediate medical care kept the damage to a minimum, which was the indefinite loss of voice. The arrow had miraculously missed the bone and major blood vessels, just glazing the Adam's apple and windpipe.  
  
// ...Doctor Huan only said indefinite loss. Perhaps, there is a chance for recovery. //  
  
Other than the lack of sharp tongue, Jess suffered no significant injury. Just a few scratches from the deliberate jump off the steed did not hinder him from attending to his duties. He had been ordered by Huan to take time off of the work, but he knew that Shu could not afford him to rest for long. The census which he had been organizing before the battle had to be finished, along with the monthly ledger summary for Hisui.  
  
"..............." Jess attempted to speak at least the greeting and affirmations, but he could not even do that much. No sound came out of his mouth, no matter how much he moved his pale lips. The practice in itself was unpractical. There was too much pain involved. He refused to cry at the misfortune. Much worse had happened before.  
  
// I will be all right. //  
  
Jess checked the time and went to the closet to change into his work clothes. When he took up the dark tie, he reluctantly left it loose about his neck. In his pants pocket, he remembered to carry a small notebook and a pencil for the necessary communication. He hoped that he didn't have to interact with others; essentially, his work only involved papers and pens.  
  
// I will be all right... //  
  
**********  
  
"Don't trouble yourself over what happened to Jess," Shu spoke quietly. He regarded the tall mercenary with a good measure of concern. "Technically speaking, you caused his injury. However, your decision at the moment was not a wrong one."  
  
"I know that, Shu. I won't deny my part in what happened, but neither will I kill myself over the guilt." Flik replied in a somber voice, his vivid blue eyes devoid of any positive glint.  
  
The long-haired strategist leaned back in his chair, judging that further consolation would do no good. After all, he had no personal acquaintance with Flik. He would leave the rest to Viktor, whom he knew would be waiting for Flik at the bar. Just as Shu was about to dismiss the mercenary, a soft knock interrupted him.  
  
"Come in."  
  
Flik looked back over his shoulder a little to see the incoming visitor. Finding the most unexpected young chamberlain, he exclaimed immediately, "Jess!? You shouldn't be walking about!"  
  
No thorny reply was given, but Jess shook his deep-auburn-brown head in denial. He ignored the swordsman and went to Shu's desk, resting a ledger and a manila folder there. Still without a word, he offered the documents to the head strategist using hand gesture.  
  
"Thank you, Jess. Doctor Huan told me that you are under doctor stop. Go back and rest for a while." Shu commanded in a rare soft fashion. Perhaps he felt the guilt similar to Flik's; if he hadn't sent Jess out to carry the message, the accident wouldn't have happened.  
  
Jess shook his head again, opening the manila folder before Shu and pointing at the tallied number on the ledger. It didn't match up with the final total cost on another page.  
  
"Flik, escort Jess back to his room and make sure he stays there. Thank you, Jess. I will look over the figures and find out the cause for the glitch."  
  
More than happy to obey the particular order, Flik beckoned the chamberlain to him. When Jess made no move to leave, he took hold of one slender upper arm and tugged lightly. That earned him a glare of tea-colored gaze.  
  
"No buts, mister chamberlain. You are officially off-duty." Flik pulled harder now upon Jess' arm and forced the lithe body to drag along with his wide strides. He gave Shu a small, appreciative grin as he exited the office.  
  
A small walk down the corridor, Jess began to claw at Flik's right hand holding onto the upper arm. Neatly clipped nails caused nothing more than a mild nick; not at all annoyed, the Blue Thunder kept on advancing toward the destination. When a clenched fist landed a mild blow to the back of his unalarmed head, he winced and halted.  
  
"Stop protesting, Jess. I could just sling you over my shoulder like a stack of hay..."  
  
Jess bit his lower lip and opened his mouth, but no desired retort came out. He grimaced from the pain of the attempt. His throat burned, making his eyes teary. Frantically pushing back the moisture creeping to the back of his eyes, he reached for the notebook and pencil in his pocket and scribbled furiously. The handwriting came out less than satisfactory, but he didn't care as he shoved the paper before Flik's gaze.  
  
"What... 'Let go of my arm, you asshole'?" Reading the message out loud, Flik broke into a fit of laughter. He felt bad doing so, but he just had to. He could imagine sputtered Jess exclaiming the obscenity, lovely tea-colored eyes shaded with an angry flush and smooth, uptight voice producing the most beautiful sharp tongue. Conveniently ignoring the fact that Jess' voice came out as Odessa's in his imaginations, Flik apologized through his laughter.  
  
Jess bit his lips harder as Flik laughed. He grudgingly admitted that his written protest sounded dumb, but to be ridiculed like this was not what he had bargained for. Unable to set up a verbal line of defense against humiliation, he clenched his free right hand into a fist and struck at Flik.  
  
Although he didn't mean to, Flik dodged the blow easily since he saw it coming. He regretted the motion right away, however. When he met the younger man's gaze, he found both light-colored eyes tinted with tears. "Jess..."  
  
Shrugging his arm out of the loosened grip, Jess hid his face with both hands and looked down. He was thankful for the minimized volume of the sobbing sound due to the injury. Only small wheezes of breathing touched his ears as he wept violently. The full weight of what part of his life had been stripped away crushed upon his lithe shoulders.  
  
Unnatural silence that accompanied the furious fit of tears forced Flik to understand at last how hurt Jess was. Along with that realization came a wave of recurring guilt. He hadn't meant to cause any of this, but he did. Almost fearfully, he reached out to the sobbing chamberlain and held the shaking body close. He was met with a vicious struggling, but he held fast.  
  
"I'm sorry. Jess, I'm so sorry about everything."  
  
The squirming didn't stop until Jess tired away and slumped into Flik's chest. The younger man didn't look up once; he couldn't with a tear-streaked face. He'd never felt this pathetic in his life. The emotion inside detached itself from anger and converted into complete misery. What would he do without his voice, his ability to protect himself from others verging into his life and shattering his pride?  
  
"I'm sorry, Jess."  
  
Flik's apology repeated itself, mostly unheard by Jess but lulling him back to the unwilling calm.  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	3. Silent Little Mermaid 3

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 3 ~  
  
  
  
  
Viktor toyed with the jug of ale upon the counter, wondering where his blue-clad friend may be. He had been waiting here for a while expecting Flik to show up anytime. According to what he had heard from Flik and Shu both, the younger mercenary must be feeling down over what happened to Jess.  
  
"Viktor."  
  
"Leona, another jug, on me."  
  
Flik slid into the seat next to the bear-like man, his perfectly-chiseled face reflecting the troubled thoughts inside. He kept on clenching and unclenching his hands; a flicker of strange smile crossed his expression every time he loosely folded his fingers. Lingering warmth and slenderness of Jess' body inevitably gave him a false replay of the past.  
  
Studying the handsome profile, Viktor spoke in a smooth conversational tone, "Just like Odessa, isn't he?"  
  
"...Don't start, Viktor. I know that Jess is no replacement. Odessa is gone. Same hair, eyes, and similar face and skin and build... ugh, they aren't the same people." Flik grimaced and took up the jug Leona gave him. He filled his mouth full with the foamy liquid, barely enjoying the taste of the ale.  
  
"You only think you understand, Flik. So, how's guilt trip going?"  
  
"Lay off. I was just made painfully aware of what damage I've caused."  
  
Looking sharply down at his long, slender fingers, Flik licked at one calloused tip and tasted dried tears. He hadn't meant to make Jess cry like that. He also hadn't meant to make the younger man lose his voice. Even if the lack of light-pitched tenor made the resemblance with Odessa uncanny...  
  
"Cruel man, you made him cry, didn't you?" Viktor gave a meaningful sideway glance.  
  
"Yeah..." A deep, deep sigh made Flik's shoulders slump.  
  
"So what are you going to do? Mediocre sympathy out of guilt will do no good."  
  
Viktor was seldom sharp-tongued, but he spoke bluntly whenever necessary. Especially toward Flik, he showed no anything-goes sweetness.  
  
"You are telling me to act as though nothing happened?"  
  
"That's one idea. Or, are you gonna be his voice from now on? Come now, Flik, you don't have the time or enough feeling of responsibility."  
  
Flik found the realism sickening, but the older mercenary was right. First of all, Jess probably hated him for everything. Secondly, he had no time to go about with the chamberlain and speaking for him. And lastly, the similarity with Odessa might cause something unpleasant for the both of them.  
  
"...I know that."  
  
Shadow cast over Flik's expression, his vivid-colored bandana not adding liveliness at all.  
  
**********  
  
Jess gestured with meticulous care and thought, trying to get the complex message across to the family that had just moved into North Window. He had handed the written contract over to the head of the household, but unfortunately, no one there could read well enough.  
  
"...I'm sorry, mister. I don't get what you mean."  
  
Dropping both hands to his sides, Jess shook his head and agonized over how to work this out. His job here was only to get the contract signed for the formal move-in procedure. Of course, he could just point to the signature line at the bottom of the paper and have the man sign it without question. That seemed too careless, though.  
  
// I could just ask someone to read the contract aloud. //  
  
Normally, the chamberlain would have mailed the contract over and never visited the family. Only today, he had a reason to come this way in town. He inwardly vowed never to hand-deliver documents again.  
  
Signaling for the man to wait, Jess peeked outside the door into the street. His eyes captured the familiar blue-clad figure walking by. Stepping out briefly, he beckoned Flik over with a wave of a hand.  
  
"Hello, Jess." Flik nodded with a dose of uneasiness.  
  
Jess ignored the greeting and pulled Flik by a hand into the compartment. Taking the contract, he handed it to the mercenary and tapped at the words.  
  
"...Oh, all right. You want me to read this to this man?"  
  
Given a relieved nod, Flik cleared his throat and recited the short document from top to bottom. The middle-aged head of the new family seemed to understand what was going on at last and signed the paper without a fuss. Jess placed the paper into the leather-bound folder he had tucked under an elbow, giving a businesslike bow before leaving the place. Flik followed naturally.  
  
"Do you have a problem like that all the time?" The tall mercenary asked, feeling his stomach clench. If Jess nodded in agreement, then he would not sleep peacefully tonight from guilt.  
  
Much to Flik's relief, Jess shook his head in negative. He looked down at the simple watch at his wrist; the time almost read three, meaning that he only had a few minutes until the daily tea-break. Since he kept a rigidly punctual schedule from day to day, he turned on his heels, back toward the castle corridor.  
  
"A thanks wouldn't hurt." Flik muttered at the abrupt dismissal that he suffered, but he regretted complaining right away.  
  
Turning back to the handsome swordsman, Jess looked at loss. He moved his lips to mouth the gratitude; frustrated at the disability, he took in a small breath and put on a rather awkward smile of appreciation. It was a smile nevertheless, from pleasantly narrowed tea-brown eyes to curled pale lips.  
  
Flik widened the vivid blue gaze in bewilderment. He had imagined it before, but Jess most resembled Odessa when he smiled. The softened porcelain good looks gained all the necessary glow and loveliness at the expression. Same shade of hair, same eyes, even the arch of graceful brows and straight, small nose dubbed exactly. Flik wondered if he was hallucinating, but his mouth moved on its own accord and spoke, "You are welcome."  
  
The young chamberlain wiped the smile off of his face, unsure as to how to take Flik's delirious look. Looking down hastily, Jess held the leather binder to his chest and left the other man behind.  
  
**********  
  
"I only think I understand. Huh..." Flik remembered Viktor's accusing little comment exactly. He grimaced and downed the remaining golden liquid in the jug. Small specks of foam wetted his chin, which he wiped off with a back of a hand.  
  
"Odessa... Jess... Odessa... Jess... ess, ess, ess."  
  
Slurred murmur blended into the similarity of the name. Flik leaned back into the backrest of the chair; he had been shushed out of the tavern by Leona after his sixth drink. Now, he had an open bottle of strong liquor on the table, almost all consumed.  
  
The reason for this sudden drinking spree escaped Flik. Since the uncanny resemblance between Jess and Odessa struck him heavily in the afternoon, he'd lost the will to do much else but drink and think over the similarity between the two. He was sure of one thing; he wasn't drinking from the grief of losing Odessa. He'd done enough of that right after the news of her demise.  
  
"Odessa."  
  
Flik closed his blue eyes and tried to remember the face of his beloved. Until Jess had come along, he hadn't realized how his memory had dimmed. Similarities and differences between the lithe chamberlain and Odessa helped him recall so much of small details. The exact roundness of those tea-colored eyes, for instance, would have slipped from his memory altogether.  
  
Now, the blue-clad man could remember Odessa, down to the dainty curl of every single eyelashes. He could reconstruct her inside his head; he could probe his mind's hands over her soft, kitten-fur hair and porcelain cheeks. At the same time, he understood why men forgot even the most painful memories with time. Without the ability to let things fade away, all will forever be haunted by the past.  
  
// So that's why I'm drinking. Trying to undo what Jess' smile triggered. It's no use, though. I can't let go of her. //  
  
Flik had no intention to mope all his life over Odessa. She would scold him for doing so, tell him that he shouldn't waste away like that. He just wanted her to stay with him and not disintegrate into some old nostalgic fragment of the past. Was that too much to ask?  
  
"So I thought I understood... Damn you, Viktor, why do you know me so well?"  
  
Jess posed as nothing more than a reminder of Odessa. Forced to admit so, Flik groaned in self-disgust. If he didn't detach the two in his mind, he would never be fair to the young chamberlain.  
  
"I owe him that much," Flik murmured in a hush. He lost interest in the drink at hand and closed his eyes to think of as many differences between Odessa and Jess as possible. Hopefully, the list will be endless...  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	4. Silent Little Mermaid 4

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 4 ~  
  
  
  
  
Smile. Smile. Frown. Frown. Smile.  
  
Jess recounted his own expression from time to time, grimacing at how much facial movement he went through just during one session with Shu. The confirmation of whatever question asked was a smile, while a disagreement would be represented by a frown. Shu seemed to appreciate the rare lively looks from the lithe chamberlain, but Jess himself found no joy in curling his lips and furrowing his brows. His face felt soft after all the maneuvers he had put it through; the muscles must have stretched and gotten more fit.  
  
// I must look like an idiot with all this... //  
  
With a small bow, Jess left Shu's office for the library. Now that he had truly nothing to do in presence of others but be quiet and listen, he escaped often to the solace of the deserted shelves of books. Emilia never minded him visiting; she merely gave him a smile and a nod, forcing him to return the same as a courtesy. The pretty eyes behind those glasses told him that she found him pleasant enough. He didn't return that message, but he was thankful that she did not mind his frequent visits.  
  
The tea-eyed chamberlain headed straight for the section to the back of the library. His favorite genre of books, namely non-fictions not involving overload of sentimentality or dramatism, lined many shelves there. Skimming through the leather-bound titles, he picked up a few and went to the table by the window to read. He pulled out a reading glass, not a strong prescription but the one recently begotten for the brutal amount of documents he had go through in the line of work, and placed the delicate silver frame over the bridge of his straight nose.  
  
"I didn't know you wore those."  
  
The sudden and unexpected interruption surprised Jess, and the shift of mood showed on his white face. Through the thin lenses, he saw the speaker. Flik was standing right next to his desk, looking every bit out of place in the serene library with a sword slung to his belt. The mercenary took the seat across from Jess and smiled in greeting.  
  
"Hey. I saw you coming here, so..."  
  
Jess parted his lips and shaped a "hello". Pushing the glasses up a little in adjustment, he shifted his gaze back to the opened page. Flik took one of the books he had taken off the shelf and motioned with a tilt of the handsome head if he could read it. Jess nodded and continued to read.  
  
// So he reads. Quite unexpected for someone who must not have had any formal education. //  
  
Stealing a peek at the man in blue, Jess mused much to himself. Had he the voice, he would have said all those bitter thoughts just to repel this companion. He had no intention of being vicious to Flik, but he knew that his mouth would have naturally moved to say the harsh comments. For once, and probably the only time, he was glad that the silence was forced upon him.  
  
Flik and reading did not go hand in hand as a concept, but visually, the thick volume looked wonderful in his long-fingered hands. His light-brown-haired head, bowed a little downward in a posture of a reader, cast shadows over his chiseled features. The warrior's back, always straight and the posture balanced, leaned back to the wooden chair in a relaxed fashion. Jess couldn't see the vivid blue eyes, but he guessed correctly that they were skimming letters in smooth cascading glances.  
  
"Never thought I'd read, did you?" Flik asked without looking up. He didn't expect a verbal answer from the younger man, so he curled his lips and continued. "Odessa didn't want me to be an unrefined soldier with no taste for things other than beer. She insisted that I read love sonnets and all."  
  
// Odessa? //  
  
Jess frowned, hinting at his ignorance and the question that arose. He needed Flik to see the expression, so he stomped on one boot-clad foot beneath the table.  
  
"Yow! ...Oh, right. Sorry, Jess." With an apologetic shrug, Flik studied the chamberlain's countenance. He understood and explained. "Odessa was the original leader of the Liberation Army. She was also the woman I loved. This sword," he tapped at the simply-wrought handle of his beloved weapon. "Is named after her."  
  
The meaning of the past tense in use struck Jess immediately. He had lost someone, not his lover but someone he had respected with his life, too. Consolation was never his forte, but he sadly averted his long-lashed eyes and delivered his regards. Nothing touched him more than deaths; to general deaths tolled by wars, he turned a deaf ear and blind eyes, but specific deaths of loved ones wrung empathy out of him. Though he never showed such kindness as to give deep grievance for those left behind, he always felt stabs of pain for them.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Flik placed the book neatly back on the stack Jess had made and left the chair. He came around the table to pat the other's kitten-fur head, sliding it down along the slender nape to take off the thin-rimmed glasses. When Jess looked up quizzically at the motion of the hand, the Blue Thunder only leaned down and brushed his lips against the vulnerable forehead.  
  
**********  
  
Flik felt good and bad about himself at the same time; the mild throbbing of his reddened right cheek made him smirk, but the image of a very confused, embarrassed, and angry Jess reversed the smug look into a self-directed scowl. He decided that he should regret having pecked at the chamberlain's forehead. He didn't even know why he had done it; Jess had looked so delectable at that moment that it took all of Flik's control not to savor those pink lips instead.  
  
// And he did not dub with Odessa. //  
  
Of course, Odessa would have slapped Flik instead of giving him a hard and hearty fist. In that sense, Jess was every bit more masculine as he should be. The same lovely fist had attempted for a second attack, which he had dodged to make a rascal-like retreat from the library. Now, he walked toward his room in a rare amused mood.  
  
"Well, he was pissed off but not disgusted."  
  
Inwardly patting himself in the back, Flik remembered the texture of Jess' skin against his lips. The sensation was so similar to that from the past that he almost slipped into the dishonorable confusion of Odessa and Jess again. He truly doubted that if he closed his eyes and kissed Jess on a cheek, he would find any difference from how it would have felt with Odessa. The notion tempted like an offer from a devil, but Flik shrugged it away. He was at last learning to appreciate Jess as an individual; he wouldn't want to throw away that progress for a short-lived illusion of Odessa.  
  
// As tempting as that idea is... //  
  
Flik pondered over his rather unusual interest in the lithe chamberlain. Gender didn't matter to him, but all else did. Jess was not the most pleasant person to be around most of the time, and the two of them barely knew each other. Sure, for the last couple of days since the younger man's injury, Flik had tried to speak to him as much as possible. Other than pleasant exchange of few words and gestures, no progress had been made to make them closer acquaintances.  
  
// So I actually want to know him better. To do what? //  
  
Stopping at the door of his own room, Flik unconsciously blushed. He knew well what he wanted to do with the prissy chamberlain. The thoughts popping up in his minds reminded him of back when he had been a teenager. With Odessa, such purely desire-driven ideas never broke free of his disciplinary control. In a sense, she had been a sanctuary in his mind. They'd made love many times, yet he never had the mind to imagine her becoming less than her dignified, beautiful self. Definitely not the little kitten-like bundle Jess appeared in to be in his wishful thinking.  
  
// Little kitten-like bundle... //  
  
The appropriate description of Jess inside his head produced laughter in Flik, his chuckling and slight bending over against the wooden door drawing attention from others in the corridor.  
  
**********  
  
Above all other annoyances in the world, Jess hated being teased. He rubbed a little at the knuckles of his right hand where it was still sore from having struck the teasing bastard. Well, perhaps Flik was not too bad for a bastard, but he had deserved the punch for that peck on the forehead. Faint blush still colored the chamberlain's cheeks; he couldn't recall ever having been kissed there since his mother's demise many years ago. The scene when Flik bent down to brush those lips over his skin must have looked ridiculous to any audience, of which, hopefully, there had been none.  
  
// What did I do to deserve that, anyway? //  
  
Jess sulked and laid his chin down on the tabletop. His tea-colored eyes scanned the tiny tower of stacked books. Although he had pulled five books from shelved for this afternoon, he hadn't finished a single one. Flik interrupted his thoughts until what he saw on the faded pages mutated into the cerulean blue of those eyes and simply handsome face. Slamming a hand against the old table only created noise in the silent library and did nothing to drive away the sudden quickening beat of his heart.  
  
"Sir Jess?" came Emilia's worried voice from the front desk.  
  
Deciding that there was no point in letting time pass without good use, Jess stood and placed the hardcovers back into their respective shelves. He could do work ahead of time, anyway. The still-new life without a single utterance of sound from his end left him often bored. No one bothered with him, merely giving him sympathetic looks as they passed him by. It was a good thing that he never needed companions to begin with.  
  
"Sir Jess, are you all right?" Emilia asked again as the lithe chamberlain passed by the front desk. Receiving a half-way sheepish nod, she smiled and went back to her own volume of historical fiction.  
  
// I need a drink. Yes, I definitely need a drink. //  
  
Jess made the plan to let Flik and alcohol battle inside his head tonight. With luck, he would collapse into the bed and not dream about the soft kiss.  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	5. Silent Little Mermaid 5

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 5 ~  
  
  
  
  
Flik blinked twice upon entering the night tavern, not quite sure how to take the sight of a red-cheeked and sleepy-looking Jess sitting at the counter. Along with the fact that there were several civilians and mercenaries close to the chamberlain giving him interested stares, the younger man's stupidity in becoming so obviously incoherent angered Flik. Giving Leona a concerned glance flickering fro and back to Jess, he advanced quickly when the same was returned.  
  
"Out you go, Mister Chamberlain."  
  
Jess didn't respond as the rotatable stool was turned, merely giving a soundless mumble and sagging to a side as the nonexistent balance was disturbed. Amusement almost made Flik chuckle, but he shook his head instead and picked up the lithe body before it hit the wooden ground. With any other man, he would have allowed the hearty fall to snap some senses back into the alcohol-blurred mind, but he correctly guessed that such an impact would have injured Jess.  
  
// Damn, he's light. //  
  
"Flik, you'll take him back // safely // to his room?" Leona asked with a tint of relief and some bits of concern. She put a special emphasis on the word "safely", meaning that she did not trust anyone to handle Jess with complete gentleman-like manner. At least, not in the current state.  
  
"No, I'll sell him off to the next slave caravan." Shrugging his shoulders and grinning a bit, Flik hoisted Jess so that the slender burden leaned against his chest. At least, the tailored garment was easy to hold onto, even with Jess squirming erratically with silent whines for more sweet liquor. "Shush, you drunk. I'm taking you out of here."  
  
With Jess hindering him as a sack of flour might have, Flik put his own plans for drinking behind him and made way to the sector set aside for the so-called office elites. In actuality, those were all of Shu's assistants who had more flair for words and numbers than for the weapons. Jess, being a relative newcomer, occupied the room at the farthest end of the stone-tiled room. The door was locked, as expected, but Flik easily found the key by patting over the younger man's pants pocket.  
  
The room, as pristine as Flik remembered it in the daylight, was dimly lit by one lamp by the bed. Lowering the now-asleep chamberlain upon the white-linen bed, he closed all sterile-looking curtains and pulled off the other's shoes, getting him ready for the night's sleep. He never considered himself to be a mothering type, but he found some joy in fussing with the sleeper.  
  
"Now this, makes you very different from her. She never got drunk."  
  
Flik sat at the rim of the bed and ran his fingers through the auburn-brown locks nestled over the pillow. Even without the tea-colored eyes, Jess looked very much like Odessa. However, the illusion of the past did not grip him now; he knew, from the slender chest devoid of curves to pants-clad limbs lacking feminine definition, that the body that lay before him now was not the same as his lost love's. Perhaps it was the position, the very real and solid bed, making the physical shape more apparent. Flik had enough discipline not to be swayed by the suggestive setting, but his mind had its own set of rules and wandered into realms of fantasy.  
  
"You are really lucky that it was me who carried you back. Lord knows what would have happened with others, eh?"  
  
Jess' lips parted a little, probably to moan in the relaxing hold of sleep. Although no noise came out of the scarred throat, Flik leaned down and listened to the soft breath. Faint smell of fruit liquor touched his nostrils, making him smile. It seemed that the young chamberlain had a taste for fruit-flavored drinks.  
  
Upclose, Flik could see two small scars on the other's neck very clearly. Huan had sewn and patched up the threatening wounds right away, but holes created by a penetrating arrow remained obvious to any eyes. Now, a week after the freak accident, twin injuries were completely closed and most likely without pain.  
  
"I'm sorry about these..." The blue-eyed swordsman murmured, burying his face against Jess' neckline. He kissed each scar with much tenderness, wishing without use that his small licks would wipe away the marring of the white skin.  
  
**********  
  
Jess almost fell off of the bed when he opened his eyes in awakening. His single-sized bed carried two grown men, one its owner and another an unexpected mercenary. What shocked the chamberlain more was that he lay half-cradled in Flik's arms; the comfort of the position did nothing to delay his immediate escape. He scrambled to the end of the mattress and patted over his clothes, making sure that his fly was up and shirt buttons in place. Much to his relief, nothing had happened to him in // that // way.  
  
"Do you always bolt up like that in the morning?" Flik rolled to his back and sat up, rubbing a little at his vivid blue eyes. From the looks, he had gone to sleep unintentionally; the sword belt remained about his waist and his feet still clad in leather boots. With much dismay, Jess eyed the brown dirt stains left on his sheets.  
  
"...Oh. Sorry about that."  
  
Heavy throbbing of hung-over head made Jess wince. He left the bed to back slowly into the bathroom, shutting the door as soon as he got there. He heard Flik speaking after him, something about "hey, I didn't do anything!". Ignoring all that, he brushed his teeth and washed his face, followed by a rare sloppy job of shaving. Each action was a routine, but he went through them this morning merely to keep his hurting head from thinking about what Flik was doing in his bed.  
  
// I must have been drunk. And he brought me back here. ...That makes sense. //  
  
Shower appealed to Jess, but he delayed the plans for refreshing warm water to peek back into his room. Flik was still there, yanking sheets off of the bed and rolling it up for laundry. Sensing his gaze, the tall swordsman turned and smiled apologetically.  
  
"I'll get these washed right away."  
  
Jess nodded as he studied the older man; the conviction toward what he supposed had happened last night grew stronger. As far as he knew, Flik was not the type to mess with incoherent men. Incoherent women... maybe, but definitely not a prissy, unpretty chamberlain like himself. Little did Jess know that he was anything but unpretty, but that was beside the point.  
  
// Do I owe him a thanks? ...What am I thinking, I never thank him anyway. //  
  
The lithe chamberlain stepped out of hiding and picked up a pen from the work desk. He wondered why the sudden change of mind, but the businesslike cursive letters created smooth penmanship on a piece of note paper. Finished with the short note, he handed it to Flik with deliberate nonchalance.  
  
"...'Thank you for everything. I will take care of the sheets, so go get ready for the day yourself'? Hmm, this is the nicest thing you ever said to me, Jess." Grinning a little, the handsome mercenary consented to the written instruction. He handed the bunched sheets to Jess, blue eyes twinkling despite the early hours of the morning. "You could always just smile, though. I like your smile."  
  
Jess reddened a little, mistaking the words for a teasing. He folded his arms and tapped his right foot lightly on the wooden floor, forcing Flik to leave the room in reluctance.  
  
// What is so great about smiling, anyway? //  
  
**********  
  
Viktor raised an eyebrow upon seeing Flik; the younger mercenary had not returned to the room next door last night, and Viktor had a pretty good guess of where he had been from the half-smile present on the other's handsome face. Breakfast at Hai-Yo's restaurant provided the opportunity for a small poke in the ribs and questioning look.  
  
"Viktor, don't probe, all right?" Flik gave a shrug and tasted the orange juice.  
  
"Well, I'm going to anyway. Leona said that you took a very incoherent Jess back to his room."  
  
"So? You think that I did him or something?"  
  
Taking a hearty bite of butter toast, Viktor returned the initial shrug. "Did you?"  
  
"...No. Come on, Viktor. I never take advantage of others, not like that." Suddenly losing interest in the juice, Flik put the glass down on the table and glared a little at the bear-like man. "Why do you care so much? Jess is not your friend."  
  
"He's Anabelle's 'lil brother'." Viktor peeled at ears of the toast and rolled the browned hem before popping it into his mouth. "At least, he was when I last saw him before meeting them at Muse. Back before Neclord and all that mess."  
  
"Oh," nodding, Flik worked on his own piece of sliced bread. He understood his friend's concern, but he was still miffed that Viktor acted like the chamberlain's overseer. Especially since he hadn't done anything dishonorable... yet.  
  
"If he didn't look so much like Odessa, I won't bother like this, Flik."  
  
"He is not Odessa!" Flik's gaze sharpened like a knife, snaring Viktor. True blue eyes darkened until the other man shut up completely. "...Don't probe, Viktor. I know damn well who is who and what's right and wrong. It's not the hair or eyes or skin or face, not the guilt of making him lose his voice. I won't say that I love him, but I like him."  
  
Surprise left Viktor's face, replaced by an amused look. He didn't hide his relief and apologetic shrug. "Sorry."  
  
"...No problem."  
  
Flik fastened his teeth on a green apple, too preoccupied with what he had just said to taste the tangy fruit. Besides the fact that the dialogue had been the longest he'd spoken in a while, how true it rang inside him shocked him.  
  
// I like him. //  
  
A nod to self confirmed the thought, and Flik curled his lips. He knew what he felt now.  
  
**********  
  
"Jess, something is wrong." Shu stated the words as a fact rather than a concerned question. His elegant Asian eyes studied the younger chamberlain, the dark gaze not cold like usual but rather mildly interested.  
  
Shaking his head in denial which was a lie, Jess awkwardly returned his attention back to the documents on the desk. He knew that he was acting jumpier than usual all thanks to Flik spending a night in his bed; he swore inwardly never to go drinking against, though the reason for his drinking also held roots in the blue-eyed mercenary. It was as though there was no escaping the Blue Thunder. If there existed such thing as paths of destiny forming inevitable acquaintances, then Jess and Flik's paths were intercepting right now.  
  
// Yet all crossroads come to an end somewhere. //  
  
Jess hoped half-heartedly that Flik would stop bothering with him, but the notion sobered him at the same time. Somehow, the tall swordsman's presence spiced up his solitary, now-silent life. Whether the change was for the better or for the worse, he didn't know.  
  
"Jess, you have a choice to take this job or not, but I need a summary of outgoing goods and money, as well as people, in Kuskus. Just a week's worth of figures would do." Shu added that if Jess declined, he would ask Klaus to go instead.  
  
The chamberlain could tell that Shu preferred that he go, so he nodded in acceptance without a second thought.  
  
"Good. I will assign someone to accompany as a guard. There really should be no danger, but one can never be too careful."  
  
Undrestanding the implied reference to the arrow incident, Jess shook his head. He had no natural compassion to be this mindful of others' guilt, but Shu so rarely exhibited such concern that it touched the younger man.  
  
The beautiful oriental strategist wandered his gaze to the ceiling, apparently thinking of who to send with Jess. An almost mischievous look lit up Shu's face and he announced much to Jess' disbelief, "Take the blue one with you."  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	6. Silent Little Mermaid 6

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 6 ~  
  
  
  
  
Kuskus, a small port town surrounded by walls and filled with people making living out of trades, smelled of Lake Dunan like Coronet did. Jess figured that the similar aquatic odor was only natural; if only he could grow to like the fishy smell, he would have no problem with the current work.  
  
"So... these volunteer people are going to do all the work for you?" Flik asked upon seeing the group of about twenty people previously rallied by Fitcher.  
  
Nodding, Jess handed neatly-written copies of directions to the volunteers. Small spots of ink on his slender fingers made it obvious that he had hand-written those instructions beforehand. He shook hands when offered to, smiled when one was given, and nodded to any simple question before dispatching them all to go stand at the main gate and the port. All that Shu had assigned him to do was to keep figures of everything that entered Kuskus. Although the reason for this meticulous work had been untold, the chamberlain could guess that there was Highland involvement.  
  
// Black Market? Information leak? Spy transactions? //  
  
Deep in thought, Jess didn't notice that he was left alone in the lobby of the inn with Flik.  
  
"They all went to work. Diligent people willing to serve the JSCA, eh?" The Blue Thunder commented lightly as he moved closer to his companion. He blinked a little when Jess handed him a folded piece of paper with secretive discretion. The younger man's tea-colored gaze told him that he was not to open the note until no one else was watching. "Fine."  
  
Jess took out the notebook from his pants pocket and readied a sharp pencil, writing out to Flik, "You will work for me as an extra hand. Stay with me during the day and act as a bodyguard would. When the night comes, do as I have written you to do. And no questions."  
  
"All right, Mister Chamberlain. Whatever suits your fancy." With a deliberate joking tone to trick anyone into believing that Jess was merely fussing with him, Flik escorted the other man upstairs to the room they would stay in.  
  
Even after they had entered the room and made themselves comfortable, Jess did not offer to elaborate on anything. He only patted on his shirt pocket in a seemingly natural motion, but that, Flik guessed with accuracy, was a gesture that he should tuck the note away somewhere.  
  
// So he thinks there's some conspiracy going on. Not from Shu's end, but on the other that Sir Strategist wanted us to probe about. Huh, 'not a dangerous job' my ass... //  
  
Flik sat down on the bed with unslung Odessa against his chest, just watching Jess. The lithe chamberlain ignored him for the most part, reading a book with reading glasses on. The time passed by with slowness of a worm.  
  
"Jess, how about some dinner?" The mercenary asked after infinite seconds had passed.  
  
Putting the book down most reluctantly, Jess nodded and placed the glasses down on the lamp table. His tea-colored eyes had taken on the look of overused puffiness, making Flik chuckle. He shut up upon receiving a mild glare, but that was only a discouragement and didn't stop him from musing inwardly.  
  
**********  
  
Although the amount of trade between Musean side and Kuskus had reduced much because of the war, Jess was shocked by how many boats still crossed Lake Dunan. He identified most merchants as those acquainted with Shu, doing business and also working for the head strategist to deliver information. There were few other names of companies listed which the chamberlain did not recognize.  
  
// So this is what Sir Shu wanted me to check. If he can get his merchants into Highland-ruled side, then they can get someone over here... //  
  
Jess frowned and tapped at the paper, not as concerned with the object of the trade as he was with the boats and people. He had little experience dealing with spies and he doubted Flik had any. All he knew was that only a fool would go asking around for whereabouts of a spy. He'd have to work stealthily, using the blue-clad swordsman as a pawn.  
  
Flik, having read the instructions given, left the inn during the night to visit the town tavern. He never came back smelling strongly of ale, which meant that he did his job well. Jess sent him there to listen in on any curious conversations involving JSCA's movement.  
  
A crumpled piece of paper Flik had tucked under Jess' pillow last night reported too many suspicious persons. The chamberlain had to accept that, however, since many talked about JSCA as their heroes. He also took in the surprisingly well-written penmanship of the swordsman; no doubt, Flik had learned it from his deceased beloved.  
  
// Odessa Silverberg. Such a famous woman. //  
  
However, now was not the time to think over the dead. Jess set out to meet a few merchants for whom he had letters from Shu. As always, it was business first and all else later.  
  
**********  
  
Not so clad in blue, Flik sipped at the lightest alcohol he had ever tasted prior to past few nights. He had to admit that he looked nothing like his usual self, dressed in plain black tunic and pants with just Odessa to identify him as a swordsman. Jess had ordered him to do all this, and the instructions impressed him much. How the clever chamberlain had messed up so horribly at Tinto, he couldn't fathom.  
  
// Blood getting to his head, probably. But he is one smart cookie. //  
  
"This seat open?"  
  
Looking up to the gruff voice, Flik just nodded upon seeing a dock worker. He didn't want a company now, since he wanted to concentrate on what was going on inside the tavern, but it could never hurt to be joined by someone as unsuspicious as this man.  
  
"Haven't seen you around here." The man, who had simply introduced himself as Gene, studied Flik's handsomeness with scrutiny.  
  
"Well, I'm not from around here. A hand for hire, in case you are curious." Flik returned, measuring the nonchalance of his tone. He wished that he had Shu or Klaus' talent for manipulative conversation; whatever he said, he had to watch his tongue yet make sure that he didn't sound too cautious.  
  
"Oh really? A skinny dude like you? Heh, guess the army's needing all men they can get."  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
"...Even that little silent kitten."  
  
Vivid blue eyes immediately snapped wide and Flik fought hard not to let his hand fly to the hilt of Odessa. Gene merely flickered the dark gaze to the sword and curled his thick lips. The look was no longer that of a dock worker but a sly someone who knew works of the dark side of politics.  
  
"You shouldn't leave such cutie alone in a room, Blue Thunder."  
  
Flik breathed with desperate effort, feeling his heart clench up into a tight ball. "What have you done..."  
  
"Nothing yet, I wager. But in about 2 minutes, he'll be swimming in Lake Dunan." Gene chuckled low, a sneer telling Flik that they both knew what he was suggesting. Seeing that the other had his hand at the sword now, the spy raised an eyebrow. "If you be smart, you won't draw that here. Too many people and our undercover will blow. Come with me, pal, and I'll escort you back to the inn."  
  
// How could I let this happen? I failed Odessa, I am to fail Jess...? //  
  
For a moment, Flik found himself in the dark underground alley of Lenan Camp. The cold water line connected to the town well ran to one side and the old meeting place of the Liberation Army was to the other end. It was the vision from the dream he suffered in the past three years; the dream of Odessa's death which he had not witnessed first-hand. A spray of red and waving auburn-brown tresses beneath the surface of ice-cold water burned into Flik's senses. The pain of loss, shattered pride, all fears and tears reminding him of the grief.  
  
// I was not there for her. //  
  
"You will not... touch a strand of that hair..." Flik hissed quietly, the rage in his voice only heard by the spy in front of him.  
  
Before anyone could scream or even steal a glance at what he did, Flik slammed a small thunder ball against Gene's large back. He aimed for the heart, coldly calculating that this death could be diagnosed as a sudden heart attack or the likes.  
  
"I guess you drank too much for your heart to handle."  
  
Flik spoke loud and clear for the master of the tavern to overhear, and left the scene with an excuse that he will go fetch a doctor.  
  
**********  
  
Jess woke up to the feel of cloth pressed against his lower face. Two hands held him down with ease while another pair muffled his already silent cries. Although it was dark, he saw the attackers clearly.  
  
// Dock workers...? //  
  
Sweet, clinging smell of drug soaked in the cloth took over Jess' consciousness. He kicked and tried to shake his head free of the sleep-coaxing substance. However, he was already tired from the medication he took for chronic insomnia, and with arms and legs pinned so efficiently, the most he could do was arch and squirm until his entire body numbed.  
  
// Damn it...... //  
  
Dimmed mind fought hard to remain somewhat functional, and Jess felt himself being lifted and eased into cloth. He wondered where he may be, but the sound of cloth rubbing against cloth and strips being tied told him that he had been tucked inside a bag of a sort. A large bag with its mouth closed and secured, acting as a cage.  
  
"Ready to go for a little swim, lil kitten?"  
  
A gruff voice mocked from the other side of the bag. Jess grunted without a sound as he was hefted by the waist and slung over a broad shoulder. A hand groped over the coarse fabric of the bag to caress at his hindside and thighs, almost regretfully at the inevitable death he would be dealt with.  
  
"Hey, Ronan, you sure we can't fuck this darling before we throw him to the lake?"  
  
"Nah. We'll go buy some women afterwards."  
  
Biting his lips so hard that the lower one bled, Jess wiggled as much as possible under the bundle. He wished for his voice, would have traded anything for the ability to scream out for help. Rather than fear of death, he hated dying and being forgotten like nothing had passed.  
  
// And it would not be a death worth some merit. By Muse, I don't want to die like this!! //  
  
Jess cringed as the vulgar hand slid around his body to touch him elsewhere. The mild groping tore no reaction from him, but the trip through the cool night air felt like forever.  
  
// Flik....... //  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	7. Silent Little Mermaid 7

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 7 ~  
  
  
  
  
The water was cold. Much colder than Jess ever imagined from looking at the dark blue surface during the day. The season barely glazed autumn, yet the liquid waves felt like just-melted ice. Although the throw had been fearsome and the impact of the fall more so, neither compared to the stinging sensation of the water that had quickly filled the bag that was to be his coffin.  
  
// If I can get these rocks out... //  
  
The two assailants had filled the bottom of the bag with fist-sized stones to act as weights. Jess groped blindly to open the mouth of the cloth prison, but the knots outside did not budge at his pushing and pulling. Holding his breath became trying as his lungs screamed for air.  
  
// Open... open... open... agh... //  
  
Large air bubbles escaped from Jess' mouth, water rushing down his throat to choke him. Unconscious tears of agony mixed with the lake. The lithe chamberlain wondered in a fit of panic if Flik was all right; if whoever those men were knew that he had a companion...  
  
// No... Flik... //  
  
A sound of hearty splash came, disturbing Jess in his death-battle against suffocating coldness. He heard another splash of something falling from the wooden pier, then the third followed immediately. Although the first two splashes merely fell quiet after the initial noise, the third turned into rhythmical stroking sound.  
  
// What is... ......... //  
  
Jess felt someone feeling the bag from outside, then strong tugs began to pull him up through the depths. He knew instantly that someone had come for help. Relief made him weak, and he closed both useless eyes to shut out the wavering darkness of the underwater world.  
  
**********  
  
Sometimes, acting upon an impulse eluded the enemy plans and lead to surprising success. Flik realized that when he saw two fake dock workers throwing their burden into the lake. Death of Gene had not reached those men's ears, and therefore, they had gone on with the original plans of throwing Jess into Lake Dunan alive.  
  
Flik gave no words or warnings to the unfortunate spies; the moment he saw the linen bag hit the calm waves, he lost all control. Water and dead body never made a good combination in his mind and memory. Especially when the body in question had auburn-brown hair and tea-colored eyes.  
  
With a roar more fit for a beast in kill-rage than the famed nickname of Blue Thunder, Flik drove his sword into the first man whom he approached. The man never saw it coming, which spared him of the fear of instant death. The other one wasn't so lucky as the same sword buried into and out of his neck, ending his misery quicky but nevertheless letting him see his own blood before losing his life.  
  
"Jess!! Jess, Jess..." Flik searched into the dark water, cursing loudly at the waves disfiguring his field of vision. The bodies of men he had just slain floated, but the large bag containing the young chamberlain was nowhere in sight. Surely, those men had stuffed heavy weight inside of the bag.  
  
"Dammit, don't die like her!!"  
  
Screaming angrily, Flik yanked off his shirt and jumped into the water. Coldness numbed his nerves in an instant, but he swam, downward and across, looking for the white cloth prison. He couldn't describe the double-edged relief and fear he felt when he saw it sinking below his very feet.  
  
// Odessa, help me... //  
  
The bag felt as though it were filled with iron, but Flik tugged it furiously until he could open the mouth of the bag at the surface. He tried to hold the upper part above the water, feeling the shape of Jess' dampened head inside. When he at last managed to tear the bag away from the very limp figure, sickening imagination toyed with the last bit of his painfully-collected calm.  
  
Porcelain face shone with droplets of water, matted locks of red-tinted brown sticking to the smooth skin and same-colored lashes dressing both blued eye-lids. Lovely lips, once pink and full of stubborn and adorable words, were unmoving and purple from the chill. The dead weight and the blood-like shade of moving waves from red torch lights by the pier ran shivers through Flik's body.  
  
"Odessa, no!!!"  
  
Next few moments blurred in Flik's mind. What he grasped after those seconds had passed was himself kneeling on the stony path lining Lake Dunan with a body stretched before him. He leaned down to give frantic mouth to mouth, barely holding back his strength as he pushed and shoved both hands over the other's stomach and chest.  
  
"Odessa, no... no... no..."  
  
The swordsman was no longer aware of his surroundings. Tears poured from his blue eyes like never since the loss of Odessa. The feeling of powerlessness assaulted him again, this time cruelly aided by the visual terror. Jess became Odessa, neither shorter hair nor the lack of soft roundness upon the chest bothering Flik's delusion.  
  
A tiny fit of weak coughs graced Flik's ears, more following though entirely silent. Only the noises made by throat contracting violently with available air and hacking out water were audible. Helping out the suffering lovely body, Flik waited until all coughing subsided and the lithe limbs went slack from exhaustion.  
  
"Thank God... Thank God, Odessa..." Flik murmured like someone who had just been saved by a miracle himself. With most gentle care, he cradled the unconscious burden to his chest and sobbed until the horrifying deja vu of the past left him.  
  
**********  
  
// Odessa... //  
  
Jess shifted like a little where he was laid, protesting against the mistaken name by which the man at the bedside called him. No, Flik no longer called him that, but he recalled through haze in his memory that the mercenary had called him so. The dead woman's name.  
  
"Awake now?" Flik asked in a considerate hush, holding a warm hand to his charge's forehead. Swelling and reddening of his eyelids made his previous weeping apparent.  
  
Nodding in a motion which more resembled a ticklish squirm than confirmation, Jess nuzzled against the extra blanket Flik had tucked over him. His fingers and toes felt numb, along with the rest of him that had suffered a short instant of death's grip.  
  
"Stay in the bed for a while. I don't want you catching pneumonia."  
  
The concern which Flik exhibited was so genuine and deep that Jess frowned in question. The older man read the expression and chuckled without humor, doing so only to keep his tone light.  
  
"I just had the worst waking dream in my life. ...I never told you, but you are the male carbon copy of Odessa. When I saw you drowned, I dubbed you to her body in the dark underground waterway of Lenan Camp." Flik's handsome face contorted in a flicker of emotional pain, but he wiped the expression away before Jess could further question. "So if you heard me call you Odessa, that's why. I'm sorry."  
  
Jess shook his head, ruffling the brown locks against the pillow. He looked unhappily up at the swordsman, his eyes scanning the proximities of the bed and finding the notebook and pencil on the table. He mouthed the words, asking that the stationaries be given to him.  
  
"Sure. Let me help you sit up first, all right?"  
  
As Flik wedged a hand beneath Jess' back and hefted the light upper body off of the sheets, the chamberlain flushed into a healthier rosy color. He wore nothing save a clean pair of white boxers. A blushing glance to the mercenary gained him the answer that it had been hard trying to dress an unconscious man. The notebook was placed in his hands along with the pencil, at which Jess gratefully shifted his mind from the current nakedness to the conversation.  
  
**********  
  
The mysterious murders of three newcomer dock workers stirred Kuskus into thin air of fear, but in the times of war, such news faded as quickly as it swelled up. Jess, certain of Highland involvement but unable to prove anything, spent the remainder of his stay at the port town inside the warm bed guarded by Flik.  
  
"Other than those men, I haven't come in contact with anyone else threatening. Think they were all that there were or...?"  
  
Jess shook his head to Flik's musing, scribbling on the notebook, "Highland spies. There are more of them but they are watching where they tread. You killed those three, after all."  
  
"Hmm. I guess there's nothing more that we can do." Flik folded his arms in a loose fashion. He regretted that he had killed all three men who had blown their covers, but in that situation, there was no way that he would have kept his cool. Although two days had passed since the assault, Jess still looked paler than his usual white.  
  
"We will report this to Sir Shu. He will send spies of our own to hunt down and dispatch the rest." Crisp handwriting conveyed the message while Jess sat plopped against the backboard. He stared down at the paper hard, his tea-colored gaze thoughtful. "Flik, I'm grateful that you saved my life. I don't know if it is right to ask you but..."  
  
Looking over to what Jess had written so far, Flik reached out to still the slender wrist holding the pencil. "You look like her. You don't act like her. You are not Odessa Silverberg."  
  
Jess looked from the paper to Flik, looking surprised. He nodded at the answer given without questioning, relieved without realizing so. He didn't want to be a mere ghost from the past.  
  
"I wish you could speak again, Jess. You are really something when you give me those sharp and bitter remarks." Patting at the chamberlain's head, Flik grinned at the given mild glare. He had grown to appreciate the mock-thorny demeanor. Jess had so much self-defense mechanism implanted inside that it was fun to poke at him and watch the results. Of course, Flik never attempted to leave any real scars in the other man's pride. He was just teasing.  
  
"I want to speak, too." Jess wrote honestly and waved the notebook before Flik's azure eyes. He curled his lips as he took the obscuring notebook away. He found himself able to take the matter of this disability with humor, if only around Flik.  
  
"You know, I wasn't lying when I said that I like your smile." Handsomely peeking into long-lashed brown eyes, Flik took in the half-glare that looked more confused than angry. Making sure to keep the lithe chamberlain in the state of unmoving confusion, he neared his lips to the other's and gave a soft and quick peck.  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	8. Silent Little Mermaid 8

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 8 ~  
  
  
  
  
Flik found much amusement in pursuing Jess that he didn't mind daily doses of hearty whacks across his cheek. As much as the chamberlain frowned, blushed and fled from his presence, the mercenary knew that there was no hatred or even real displeasure in their relationship. Perhaps kissing the younger man back in Kuskus had been a bad move, but he didn't regret it.  
  
"Wait up for me, mister chamberlain."  
  
"Keep away, Flik."  
  
Not even reading the words on the paper shoved before his blue eyes, Flik grabbed one slender upper arm and cuddled Jess. He checked that no one was around in the castle corridor, and brushed his lips against the white nape with much tenderness. What he couldn't do with Odessa, he could with Jess. The young chamberlain needed aggressive pursuit or else he'd never open up.  
  
Jess cringed and began to squirm, his hands flailing in the space before the two of them. Opening his pale lips to give noiseless protests, he angrily stomped down on the mercenary's foot, inducing a grunt from the older man.  
  
"You are such a spitfire, did you know that, Jess?"  
  
Another kiss, not at all discouraged by the vicious reprisal, scored along the chamberlain's ear. He let out a warm breath, squirming some more. Although he dared not to admit, Flik's insistent stalking and affectionate actions made him weak in the limbs. For what reason, he was afraid to know.  
  
Flik never hindered Jess from writing his objections, so the tea-eyed young man wrote furiously and displayed one page after another of his sharp-tongued retorts. The devilishly handsome swordsman only curled his lips and pushed Jess against the wall, careful not to cause the delicate body even a small bump against the stone blocks of the Camelot stronghold.  
  
"I won't hesitate in this and I told you so. I like you, Jess. From head to toe, inside and out. I like you a whole lot."  
  
I don't like you!, or so screamed Jess' glare, but Flik ignored that as a definite lie. If Jess truly disliked him, then there would be worse treatments than just stomping of a foot or running away at sight. He'd be ignored, cold-shouldered, and completely cast out of the younger man's life.  
  
"And I think that you like me, too."  
  
Jess only glared harder, his hands curling up into fists ready to strike at the smiling swordsman's cheek. However, he was pinned very efficiently, though without any pain, and he could only struggle like a cat caught by the back of the neck.  
  
"I'm new to this wooing thing... but I think it's working just fine." Murmuring more to himself than to the distressed other, Flik leaned down and tried to brush his lips against the lovely silent ones. Just as he got close enough to feel Jess' nervous breaths, he was yanked back by his blue mantle as though he were a child caught in a prank.  
  
"There is a law against sexual harassment, Flik."  
  
"And also for picking on poor lil chamberlains."  
  
Shu had his arms folded before his chest and gave Flik a look of pure dismay while Viktor didn't let go of the hold upon the well-worn azure fabric. With an obvious reluctance, the younger mercenary let go of his trembling chamberlain and turned to those who had interrupted the moment of romance.  
  
"There ought to be a law against coming by at a bad time." Flik shrugged his mantle out of his friend's grip, not looking half as angry as he was disappointed.  
  
"Jess, are you all right?"  
  
Not paying attention to the sulking swordsman, Shu asked in the usual calm tone. His frown deepened upon seeing Jess' flushed cheeks and nervous eyes that were more than a little tinted with scared anticipation. He received a dazed nod of someone whose mind was elsewhere.  
  
"Flik, why don't you come for a drink..." By a side-glance cue from the elegant Asian, Viktor grabbed Flik by an arm and began to drag the younger mercenary away.  
  
"Hey, I wasn't being dishonorable!" Flik protested futilely as he was taken out of Jess and Shu's sight.  
  
**********  
  
Slumping a little against the wall, Jess controlled his heartbeat to slow down and avoided the head strategist's dark gaze. When he stole a look at the other man's beautiful face, he saw a rare grin there, albeit a cool and faint one.  
  
"Flik is rather passionate. I never imagined that he would pursue you this insistently." Shu mused and regarded the chamberlain in good humor. "Well, while the blue one is receiving a well-deserved chiding from the bear, shall we have a talk of our own?"  
  
Jess had to nod, not only because Shu was his direct superior but also from the unspoken command he recognized. The Asian strategist never asked another to do something, and when he phrased something as a question, that meant that he expected it to be acquiesced to.  
  
"Follow me to the office, Jess."  
  
Shu turned his back to the chamberlain and began a brisk and mild-paced walk back to his work office. He always walked in such fashion, as did Jess. Following without an alternative, Jess fought back his mind's urge to recall what Flik had done to him just now. He had noticed while trying to calm his heart that both his nipples were a littler harder than usual; the discovery mortified him more than anything, for they were evidences of his reaction to the swordsman's approach.  
  
Once the two of them reached the book-lined, work-suited office, Shu offered Jess a chair and took seat himself in the desk chair. The long-haired Asian placed a notebook and a pen before the other man, giving a message that he expected a two-way conversation.  
  
"You did a fine job at Kuskus. I truly did not plan on having the two of you attacked, but... all turned out for the best. If it pleases you to know, Kasumi and Mondo took care of the rest of the spies."  
  
// Ah, good to know, yes. But... //  
  
Jess took up the pen and wrote, "Why did you choose Flik as my bodyguard?"  
  
At that, Shu folded his slender fingers over the wooden desktop and thoughtfully replied, "I knew that you will be most comfortable around him. Others would have sufficed, but knowing you, it had to be Flik."  
  
Displeased by the strange assumption, Jess dared to give a frown. The next paper read, "I don't understand, Sir Shu."  
  
"Then I will put it bluntly. You are attracted to Flik."  
  
**********  
  
"You are too aggressive with the poor kid," Viktor warned over a jug of ale.  
  
"I know that, Viktor. He needs that sort of attention or else he'll never give in." Flik returned in mild irritation. He considered spilling the rest of his beer over the older man's face, but he decided against the childish act of retribution. After all, Viktor was all hyped up to give him a pep talk and it would do no good to shower him with alcohol.  
  
"So little like Odessa, isn't he?"  
  
Viktor reminded Flik of the deceased woman, who had been as needy in her own right and pretty much had nailed the Blue Thunder from her end. She had made it clear, Flik remembered, that he was an emotional replacement for the betrothed whom she had lost; then, as time passed... their relationship had turned into something wonderful and irreplaceable.  
  
// Replacement. It worked out fine in the end for her and me. I don't see why not for Jess and me, too. //  
  
"I guess so. Odessa needed no shoving around. She took what she wanted and sometimes without asking. Took her own initiative. Jess doesn't have that assertiveness, or whatever you call it."  
  
"At the rate you are going, though, you'll end up shoving him down to the bed and making him cry through the night. I can just see it coming." Viktor earned himself a good punch to a shoulder for the comment, but he merely grunted and shrugged. "You gotta watch where you tread with these prissy, proud ones."  
  
"Thanks for telling me from your experience." Rolling his very blue eyes, Flik ordered another jug. He had observed Viktor following Shu's tail like a large dog or bear in the days before the head strategist accepted the affection. Realizing that it was how he was acting right now toward Jess, Flik broke into a fit of self-directed chuckle.  
  
"It worked for me, but dunno about you, Flik. Jess isn't the same as Shu, as you can see."  
  
"I know, I know. I wouldn't want to pursue Shu if someone paid me, but Jess is... just..."  
  
"A cute brown bundle of kitten fur, eh? It's written all over your face!"  
  
Laughing and giving each other playful yet painful punches to upper arms, Flik and Viktor dedicated a good time to drinking down their comments about their respective love interests.  
  
**********  
  
"Are you not, Jess?" Shu leaned over the desk a little, his silken hair spilling over the desk most seductively even though there was not a speck of coyness in him.  
  
Transfixed by the question more so than the older man's beauty, Jess hid his face by looking down and shuffled in the chair. If he had an immediate "No" for the answer, he would have written so. However, the case was quite different now that he was forced to think about Flik.  
  
// I don't dislike him at all. ................ //  
  
"I know that when someone like you stay quietly pinned by another, that means there's no real objection." Curling his perfect lips like some wise man playing tricks on an ignorant, Shu leaned back into the comfortable chair. "If I were you and I had no interest in the assailant, I would kick him so hard that he will never function properly again."  
  
The words themselves were comical, but coming from Shu, they became real threats. Jess shook his head that he would never do that to Flik, then reddened at his reaction to the suggested reprisal.  
  
"Jess, you and I are different yet similar. Borrowing Viktor's words, we are prissy and proud. I know exactly what you are thinking."  
  
Up-slanted oriental eyes had Jess cornered in the conversation. Resigning himself to confess, the lithe chamberlain scribbled slowly, "What am I to do if I don't mind him?"  
  
Shu looked almost like a goddess as he smiled and nodded. "Kiss him back."  
  
**********  
  
Flik tapped his foot on the stone floor, his gaze glued to the door to the head strategist's office. He knew that Jess was in there, being counseled in one way or another by Shu, who was trying to be helpful for once.  
  
// ...Not that I expect anything from sir strategist. If he knows anything about love affairs, I'd be damned. //  
  
When the door opened with a small creak, Flik was pleased to find his little chamberlain huddled in the doorway. Remembering Viktor's advise to be gentle and patient, he barely kept himself from grabbing Jess' hand and taking him away somewhere for another cuddle and confession of love and likes.  
  
"Shu didn't upset you or anything?"  
  
Jess shook his auburn-tinted head once and looked about in the corridor, as if to check if anyone was walking by. Flik noticed and grinned to himself; he checked to see, too, and took Jess to his arms when he was sure that they were alone. Shu had closed the door securely the moment the chamberlain had stepped out.  
  
"Viktor gave me a scolding, but he's not my mother."  
  
Very pleased by a shy, faint smile Jess displayed, Flik leaned down to steal the kiss he had missed earlier. He didn't expect anything but a vicious bite, punch or a stomp, but that was all fine by him. Petal-soft lips didn't move an inch until their lips touched, and straight teeth never threatened Flik as he proceeded to take his chances. He almost snapped his blue eyes open in bewilderment when slender fingers tentatively held on to his forearm and back, the lithe body going into a position of acceptance rather than defense.  
  
Flik forgot everything but the kiss and the sweet joy he felt. He had conquered the fortress of Jess' prudishness.  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	9. Silent Little Mermaid 9

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
NOTE: There is an optional chapter rated R following this chapter. The entire Chapter 9.5 consists of Flik and Jess making love. I don't think the sex scene is necessary in the flow of the plot, so if you would like to read Chapter 9.5, please go to my homepage.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 9 ~  
  
  
  
  
Establishing a relationship proved harder than Flik nor Jess had imagined. A single kiss worked as the link for their mutual attractions, yet the young chamberlain's shyness toward physical affection and Flik's doubt of how to proceed further kept them close yet apart. Although the tea-colored young man never avoided Flik now, their conversation fell short of customary greetings and awkward endearments from the mercenary's end.  
  
// He acts all shy and embarrassed, self-conscious. It's hard even to kiss him when he's so nervous yet doesn't fight back. //  
  
Flik groaned to himself when he failed to plant a kiss upon Jess' lips upon seeing him in the deserted morning corridor. Only yesterday, he had enjoyed those pink lips in abandon, and now, he hesitated. The lithe man seemed disappointed and relieved at the same time when Flik drew back. That threw in more confusion to the swordsman's brain.  
  
"...'Morning, Jess."  
  
Jess nodded back in greeting, his gaze a little downcast and hands holding the leather binder and hardcover ledger close against his chest. He had been holding his breath for Flik to glaze his lips, but had not the courage to go for the initiated kiss. Now feeling more than a little dejected, he huddled nearer to Flik as they walked side to side.  
  
// There was a saying about a cat borrowed from a neighbor... meaning the usually-spirited someone turning meek. My lil brown bundle of kitten fur acting like a borrowed cat. Heh. //  
  
Remembering trivial things, Flik chanced to reach a hand to Jess' lower back in a half-hold. The lithe body tensed for a second, then resumed to walk naturally.  
  
"Jess, don't you think we are not acting the way a full-fledged couple ought to act?"  
  
A small side-way glance told Flik well enough that Jess felt the same way. The younger man agreed with a helpless little nod. He didn't like the strange tension between them anymore than the mercenary did. However, before they could discuss the grave issue, Jess stopped short at the door to Shu's office. He looked at the wristwatch and looked apologetically at Flik before knocking at the wooden door.  
  
"It's alright. See you later, mister chamberlain." Flik watched Jess disappear into the head strategist's office. He had to do something about this situation and he hated to admit that he knew only one person to rely for an advise. "Off to the bear I go..."  
  
**********  
  
Jess' long-lashed eyes widened a little when he found Huan in Shu's office. The doctor gave his trademark gentle smile and beckoned the chamberlain to join them.  
  
"Jess, Doctor Huan suggested a possible way to treat your disability." The elegant strategist explained without much elaboration, turning to the other Asian to speak the rest.  
  
"I can't guarantee anything, but I received a letter from Master Liukan and he offered to take a look at your throat."  
  
Jess knew about Liukan's fame as the "god-like doctor"; rather than let his hope inflate, he kept quiet and nodded that he understood. For all the pessimism, however, he couldn't help shuffling in anticipation for the best results.  
  
// If there is a chance... //  
  
The first possibility of speaking linked together with the thought of speaking his mind to Flik. Jess almost blushed at the notion, but that warmed up his heart the most. He wanted to tell the handsome mercenary all in return to the endearments and passionate words. Old habits would die hard and he probably would not give sweet words of appreciation, but the most significant message he wanted to give, that of reciprocated affection, would be conveyed.  
  
// I wonder if Flik will be pleased? //  
  
Seeing the tea-colored eyes light up, Huan continued, "My speciality is in medicine, but Master Liukan is a surgeon at heart. I have faith that he can do what I could not."  
  
"So, Jess, I have decided to excuse you from your duties and send you to Toran Republic. Viki can teleport you as close as Banner and from there..." Shu trailed off and pointed to the map that was spread out on his desk. "Gregminster is a little distance from Banner. You will need a bodyguard."  
  
The lithe chamberlain gave Shu a half exasperated, half gladdened look. The beautiful strategist smirked most smugly and they spoke and mouthed the same phrase.  
  
"Take the blue one with you."  
  
Although Huan did not understand the reason for a sudden burst of light laughter from the two others, the doctor bowed modestly and left the room in its mirthful state.  
  
**********  
  
Flik declined the immediate suggestion of his bear-like friend to go to a tavern. Instead, they retreated to his chamber for a private and sober talk. As they took seats across from each other, one on the rim of a bed and other on a wooden chair, the younger mercenary wondered how long it has been since he last had a serious conversation with Viktor without the aid of liquor.  
  
"So he kissed you back." Viktor grinned, almost looking stupid in his teasing expression. Of course, he knew the little string his own lover had pulled to get the chamberlain to open up to Flik. He wouldn't share that secret with the blue-clad one, however.  
  
"Well, that's the good news. The bad news is..." Toying with the loose end of his blue bandana, Flik sighed like a true lovestruck man.  
  
"He's all embarrassed now, eh?" Viktor finished the sentence, knowing very well how ones like Jess reacted to blooming relationships. After all, Shu had been a handful to take care of when they'd finally gotten together.  
  
"Right. So tell me, how did you get Shu to mellow out and accept things as they ought to be?" Expecting much information from the older swordsman, Flik leaned forward a little in stance of a good listener.  
  
Viktor had to laugh inwardly at how his friend was so serious over the matter. He didn't blame Flik for going head over heels with Jess, but when the younger man had been with Odessa, he hadn't been so paranoid or concerned with things going perfectly.  
  
// But then, Odessa was the experienced one. //  
  
Odessa Silverberg had been a woman of courage and initiative. Not only in the field of leadership were her traits displayed, but also in the matters of romance. She had taken a wrong fancy with Flik, using him as a replacement for the fiancee she had lost; after seducing the virgin swordsman and making him fall in love with her, she had come to her senses and grown to return the feelings in a more rightful fashion. Viktor knew of all this just from observation.  
  
"Well, man, Shu'd kill me for revealing this but... I slept with him and all became as things are now."  
  
A faint blush crept up Flik's neck and face at the revelation, but he kept a straight face and nodded somewhat awkwardly. He had imagined enough times of taking Jess to the bed; it was just that he thought such advances too hasty and cruel for the chaste little chamberlain.  
  
"The difference is that Shu was aware of how good he looked and that many lusted after him and Jess... well, I don't think the kid's got that sort of vanity." Shrugging, Viktor added that there was a number of mercenaries who had negative attraction toward the tea-eyed young man. "It's a miracle that he lived so long without suffering assaults, but I bet 2000 coins that you were his first kiss, Flik."  
  
"Good thing we didn't bet, since you are right."  
  
Flik nibbled on his right thumb, contemplating if he should follow the path Viktor had treaded. He could take Jess anytime in terms of the mind-set. On the other hand, he knew that the chamberlain would object. Maybe not a whole-hearted denial but that out of embarrassment and fear. Folding his arms before his chest now, the handsome mercenary weighed the stakes for convincing Jess and seducing him.  
  
// Either way, I'm jumping ahead of myself. I'm no genius in love relationships, and what if we got into the bed and he completely flipped? //  
  
"Easier said than done, isn't it?" Shifting on the chair and making it creak, Viktor got up and excused himself for the tavern. There was nothing else he could say to the Blue Thunder. He had done his fill in the helping, as had Shu.  
  
**********  
  
Treading in a suppressed pace toward Flik's room, Jess stopped every five steps to think over his plans for the upcoming meeting. The day had gone by quickly with meetings and work in the office, even though he had quite a lot to do. Perhaps the anticipation for the journey and possible cure drove time on in haste. He planned to tell Flik the news first and the order of Shu that the two of them travel together.  
  
// I don't know what else. Brace myself for another kiss, probably... //  
  
The habit of blushing was finally wearing off, so Jess went on to agonize over how to receive the attention. He hated himself for being this ditzy, or girlish for the lack of better word, but he'd heard before that kissing an unresponsive lover was as boring as kissing a wall. Flik's constant presence and the claim that they were officially a couple grew on Jess to the point that disappointing and repelling the swordsman was unthinkable.  
  
// Hold him, keep my mouth parted, um... tongue pliant. //  
  
The lithe young man nodded to himself a few times and stopped before Flik's room. He knocked in modest taps until the tall mercenary welcomed him in.  
  
"Good... evening, Jess. You worked all day?" Flik asked, obviously trying to get a conversation rolling. Seeing a nod, he offered a chair and sat down across from the chamberlain. "Same here. Not that there's much for the mercenaries to do with no battle coming up."  
  
Taking out the notebook and pencil, Jess wrote his response. "You are still getting the same pay as in the war times. Better work hard, Flik."  
  
"True. So, what brings you here?"  
  
"Doctor Huan suggested that I travel to Toran to be seen by Doctor Liukan. Sir Shu gave me leave for a few days and he wants you to accompany as a bodyguard." Jess saw the older man's vivid azure eyes twinkle and had to curl his lips in a pleasant snicker before writing on. "I know. Sir Shu is personally involving himself in our matter. I'm not sure whether to take this as good will or meddling."  
  
"Good will, I think. Liukan is amazing. It's well worth a try to go, Jess."  
  
Urged by the need to go and give an encouraging embrace, Flik left his seat and leaned down before his auburn-brown-haired lover. Lovely tea-colored eyes half-lidded shyly before he brushed his lips against the pink ones. His arms snaked behind Jess' slight back and he was rewarded with a returned hold. The kitten-soft hair ruffled as he moved one hand to caress at the smooth nape. The delicious moment beckoned for more, the slight, delectable body making it hard for Flik to let go.  
  
// It wouldn't hurt to mention what Viktor suggested. //  
  
The Blue Thunder pulled back just a few inches and whispered, "Jess, I want to... make love to you." He still held the younger man loosely as he resigned himself to the very probable denial and even an embarrassed punch or two.  
  
Jess swallowed back his immediate reaction, which was to give Flik a good fist and shrug out of the gentle arms. He just let blood rise to his face and color him red, sitting in the same hold as though he had been thunderstruck. Seeing that Flik was waiting for the answer of yay or nay, he licked his lips still moist from the kiss.  
  
"W-Why the sudden..." Stuttering even in his lip motion, Jess asked timidly.  
  
"The moment seems right. Sure, we've only kissed a few days back and haven't even held hands, but I think the closer bond will get our relationship going for the better. For one, I don't think you'll be so shy or unsure after we... well, you know."  
  
// Congratulations, Blue Thunder. You just spoke more than ever in your wooing of the kitten-fur-bundle. //  
  
"And if we are to travel together to Toran, wouldn't you want the uneasiness gone?" Flik added as an afterthought, his cerulean blue eyes still intent upon Jess' flushed expression.  
  
Jess found himself actually considering all that Flik had said and was astonished at himself.  
  
// Do I want to lie with him? ......Perhaps, but why so out of the blue? //  
  
The strange pun of the notion "out of the blue" coming from the Blue Thunder gave Jess a good diversion to chuckle at. He felt a bit more at ease, and shifted his frozen hold on the swordsman to run fingers through the short-cropped brown hair. The surprisingly soft texture of the beach-hue tresses soothed him and seduced him more than any words or caresses.  
  
"What do you think of me, Flik?" Jess mouthed, knowing the answer and waiting for those words as a cue to his consent.  
  
"I love you, Jess, from head to toe, inside and out." Catching on to the small game of words, Flik smiled like a dashing knight from children's tales.  
  
"Then I yield to your wishes..." Jess fluttered his eyes closed as Flik kissed him again.  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	10. Silent Little Mermaid 10

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 10 ~  
  
  
  
  
Jess hid himself under the sheets as he made an early morning escape into the tiny shower stall in Flik's bathroom. His taking of the cover left the older man lying bare on the bed, but that was the least of chamberlain's concern. He only gave a small smirk and a blush at the sight of lean and strong body half-way curled up on the mattress before closing the door to the baths.  
  
"Fine, just leave me like this." Flik sat up no sooner than his lover had disappeared behind the door, reaching lazily to the floor with a hand and picking up his briefs and pants. He also needed to take a shower after the mess the two of them had gone to sleep in, but he would wait for the prissy chamberlain first.  
  
// The entire bed got to go into the laundry. My my... //  
  
Musing with happy azure eyes, Flik made a sloppy job out of pulling on the minimum garments to conceal himself and stripping his bed of its covers. From what he understood, the journey to Toran was awaiting them today. He was used to the teleportation Viki provided, but Jess was bound to suffer from the so-called "space lag."  
  
// For a morning after of the "first time", things are going well. No slaps, no bawling, no laments of I-didn't-mean-it. //  
  
Flik listened to the faint sound of hot shower and imagined his tea-eyed lover scrubbing the porcelain skin with a meticulous care. He had to smile; Jess was not someone made for sex, with his need for breathing space and despise against physical exertion in general. He doubted that the chamberlain even enjoyed being touched. All that had allowed them to make love last night was mutual love, and for that, Flik couldn't be any more thankful.  
  
// So what if I didn't claim him inside? That can wait. Man, I feel great... better than any morning in the past three years. //  
  
The tall mercenary stretched a few times, flexing his arms and listening to hearty cracks of his joints. He truly felt wonderful, as though he had gone to heaven and come back with the divine air still clinging. In a way, he had visited heaven last night. That thought produced a rather lewd smirk upon his well-shaped lips.  
  
Jess delighted Flik like no one else except for Odessa. With the Silverberg woman now a person from the painful yet conquered past, he could contest that the lovely chamberlain took up most of his heart. Sure, his first love would always be with him, engraved in the sword and haunting him in many dreams to come. He had no intention of letting Odessa go. As she had let him coexist inside her with the lost betrothed, Flik wanted to house both people whom he loved inside of him. Although it had seemed impossible before, now he strove to make it so.  
  
"What marvels love can do to a man, eh, Odessa?" With a tone tinted only a little with nostalgia, Flik took up his beloved weapon and caressed its dark scabbard.  
  
**********  
  
By Shu's orders, Viki teleported the two men with as much care and precision as she could be trusted with. Although she was prone to errors, Flik confirmed upon the landing that they did land in Banar. Jess remained sitting in the awkward position where he had landed on the green grass outside the town, disoriented from the strange twisting sensation of his senses.  
  
"That's a teleport-lag. I couldn't stand it at first." Flik offered a hand to the ailing chamberlain and helped him steady the bodily balance.  
  
Jess shook his head to drive away the dizziness, almost lurching forward as his stomach protested against the slightest motion. He refused the swordsman's offer to carry him on a piggy-back ride and with much effort started to walk toward Banar's gate.  
  
Impressed with Jess' pride, Flik followed like a shadow, only his very blue outfit making his existence stand out behind the lithe man. Since this mission called for no incognito endeavors, he advertised himself to keep away the possible malice like bandits and monsters. In Toran side, his fame was quite widespread.  
  
Jess tread weary in the new environment. He had never visited the Toran Republic; as far as he was concerned, the new nation was or had been the possible enemy of the Jowston Confederates. During Anabelle's earlier reign, with the Scarlet Moon Empire still in power, he had heard much about the tension between Muse and Gregminster. To think that the situation had changed so much, with the Empire fallen and Annabel deceased, dispirited the chamberlain.  
  
"If we had more time and leisure, I'd show you more of Toran." Noticing Jess' sinking mood but not knowing the cause, Flik tried to occupy them with a conversation. He didn't hesitate to take a light hold of the younger man's hand; slender fingers threatened to flee at first, but they gave up after a short while and entangled to his.  
  
Jess regarded the mercenary with certain astonishment that they should hold hands in the public, but no one really looked at them strangely. The people of Banar went about their own business; the small port town by the river had enough visitors to acquaint its inhabitants with all sorts of men and women. A shy chamberlain and a blue-clad swordsman hardly drew any attention.  
  
// Warm hand, slightly calloused fingertips... he has nice hands. Hand of a fighter, I suppose. //  
  
The tea-eyed chamberlain blushed as he remembered how the same hands had touched him the previous night. Flik had shown him heaven then, giving him the feeling of utter satisfaction and honeyed fatigue. Rather than the pleasure itself, however, Jess valued the safe haven of sleeping in his lover's arms. He had waken well-rested and mellowed by pleasant dreams which he could not recall. Such was the effect of Flik's presence in the bed.  
  
Reflecting upon the gentle hold, Jess walked past the main street of Banar to the back where the exit to the forest path leading to Gregminster was. He had the map of the area memorized, and Flik was a native to the land. There was no fear of them getting lost. He could ponder as much as he wished over Flik's comforting hand, simple yet marvelously chiseled face, and the befitting color of blue dressing the tall figure.  
  
Jess didn't reach for the notebook in his pants pocket, although his lips itched to question many things about Flik. He wanted to know more about his companion, the first one he'd ever fallen in love with. The long moment that passed while they held hands was too precious and sweet to be broken by questions, though.  
  
In complete peace, the two travelers walked through the deep green forest connecting Banar and Gregminster. The capital of the Republic stood in a deceptive distance from the port town; by the map, it was only a few miles away, yet the journey felt longer for Jess. Perhaps, he only wished it to be long, for the trip with Flik by his side proved to be more enjoyable than he ever imagined.  
  
**********  
  
Finding Liukan's office in bustling Gregminster proved easier than anyone could have guessed. The fame of "god-like doctor" stood true to name and any passerby could point out the small house with accuracy. Jess shuffled nervously before the door to the humble place, getting himself ready for the worst outcome.  
  
"Loosen up, Jess." Flik patted the chamberlain on a shoulder and went on to knock at the door. Upon the door opening and a bearded old man peeking out, he nodded with due respect of a comrade. "Liukan. It has been a while."  
  
"Blue Thunder Flik. I knew that you were alive. So Viktor is also doing fine?" The sage-like doctor regarded Flik with much appreciation, then shifted his attention to the younger man. "And this is Jess, the one Huan has written me about."  
  
Jess managed a smile of greeting. He pulled out the enveloped letters from Shu and Huan, handing them over to the wrinkled, dexterous-looking hand of Liukan.  
  
"Do come in. I have a patient waiting for me in the back, so help yourself to tea and cakes in the meanwhile." With that, Liukan disappeared to the part of the building obscured by the white drapery, presumably the clinic area.  
  
"He hasn't changed much, as old as he is." Flik commented to no one in particular as he took a seat at one of the simple wooden stools. Since the time was still early, there was no one else waiting for Liukan's care. He watched with great appreciation as the lithe chamberlain went to the oriental tea set and began to fuss with the tea leaves.  
  
A short while later, Jess came back with a black-lacquer tray and placed a teaming porcelain cup in Flik's ready hands. He eased down on the seat next to the mercenary's and just toyed with the thin, white cup, not drinking the herbal liquid.  
  
"Don't be nervous."  
  
"I am not." Jess' lips moved in an obvious lie and he hung his head.  
  
Flik raised an eyebrow, his lively blue eyes seeing through the chamberlain's pride. "You get to have your throat cut open by the best surgeon in this continent. That's no reason to worry. ...Was that a bad encouragement?"  
  
Giving the swordsman a weary glare, Jess finally lifted the tea to his lips and sipped at it, his motion as soundless as his words. "Flik," he mouthed so much, then turned to his small notebook and scribbled in a neat penmanship. "Spoken words hold so much meaning. I never thought of it until this ailment came along, but now, I wish for my voice more than anything."  
  
"Cheer up, then, if there's so much for you to look forward to. Why worry about the failure when you haven't even gone through the trial? Hmm?" If he weren't mindful of Liukan and the unknown patient behind the drapery, Flik would have gone and kissed the lovely younger man.  
  
"I..."  
  
The drapery was pushed aside and Liukan appeared along with a good-looking woman. The woman, with dark brown hair and sporty build of a fighter, widened her sharp eyes upon seeing Flik. Hardly hiding her surprise and uplifted mood, she rushed over despite the old doctor's immediate warning.  
  
"Cleo, you shouldn't run with a baby."  
  
"Oops. Flik! You are alive? So Viktor is, too?" Cleo halted in her quick strides with a sheepish grin. Her right hand rested over her lower abdomen in a natural stance of a just-informed mother.  
  
"As alive as he can be and still chugging down beer. A good news today, Cleo?" Flik smiled back, his tone rather that for a man or an equal comrade. He touched Jess' shoulder and introduced him to the female fighter, "Cleo, this is Jess, chamberlain of JSCA. Jess, meet Cleo. She was one of the central figures in the Liberation Army."  
  
"Pleasure to meet you, Jess. And yes, I'm pregnant, thanks very much. When did you become so outspoken, Blue Thunder? ...I'm glad to see you in good mood, though." Cleo nodded, very satisfied with the change in the tall mercenary from what she remembered. The last she had seen of Flik was when he had still been mourning over the loss of Odessa. Although she saw the similarity between Jess and Odessa right away, Cleo kept her mouth shut.  
  
"Doctor Liukan, is she done yet? ...Flik? And Ode-... never mind."  
  
"Pahn!" The witty expression switching over to that of a happy wife, Cleo let the just-arrived Pahn hug and kiss her. They made such an adorable scene that the others present shuffled and wandered their gazes within the warm and fluffy atmosphere created.  
  
"Jess, I'm ready to take a look at you. Follow me." Liukan barely interrupted the moment with the sensible whisper, to which Jess followed without a wait.  
  
As he exchanged words with the old acquaintances, Flik curled his lips in reassurance when he saw the tea-colored eyes glancing back to him.  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	11. Silent Little Mermaid 11

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 11 ~  
  
  
  
  
With the date for the second surgery set, Jess relaxed and took the needed rest at the inn. The large-set innkeeper was also an acquaintance of the blue-clad mercenary, just like so many others in Gregminster. Even though the two very handsome military officers in red and green uniforms had invited Flik for a talk over drink, he had declined to be with his lover.  
  
"You didn't have to turn down the drink, Flik." Jess showed the note he had written as soon as they had retired into the room. "I'm fine, so go speak to the old comrades."  
  
"Alen and Grenseal are good men, but I'd rather spend my time with you." Sitting down next to Jess at the rim of the bed, Flik drew his arms about the slender shoulders. He nuzzled his lips against the white neck and suckled here and there with gentle passion. He had no overwhelming need, but the auburn-brown-haired chamberlain beckoned for such small acts of affection.  
  
Fair complexion turning a shade of pink at Flik's flattering words, Jess let the other draw him closer until he was cuddled almost atop the older man's lap. Warm lips tracing over his neck remained persistent as they fastened over the small scars near his small Adam's apple. He put up no fight as lean, strong arms drew about his waist and caressed at his thighs; he saw no reason to object, since they'd already done much more the night before.  
  
// It's a wonder how a single night can change one's attitude... //  
  
Shivering visibly as Flik's mischievous fingers proceeded to do more intimate touching, Jess nuzzled to the chest against his back. He just kept his eyes half-lidded, enjoying the gentle stroking sensation and his lover's breaths against his neck.  
  
"Jess, you don't mind...?" Flik asked in a hushed voice, his rising excitement quite apparent.  
  
Jess just shook his head, since the swordsman couldn't see his flushed face. He drew his arms about Flik's shoulders and buried his face there, letting himself be laid down to the sheets. He had been expecting further development of their relationship during this journey, and he had no reason to deter from the path leading to another Heaven.  
  
**********  
  
Liukan had no problem with Jess keeping himself dressed waist-down for the surgery. All that the old doctor required was that the patient wear sterile clothing. So the tea-eyed chamberlain presented himself to Flik right before the operation clad in plain white pants and a typical robe for the patient.  
  
Rather than the less-than-fashionable garments, fear of bad outcome gnawed at Jess. He had been feeling queasy in the stomach since the morning. Flik, probably reading his mood and mind, had acted with extra affection as they rose from their resting place and showered by turns. If not for the handsome mercenary's loving concern, Jess wouldn't have been able to attend to Liukan's office without faltering mid-way. Pessimism went badly for a patient facing the second surgery.  
  
"You are looking brave." Flik chuckled upon seeing the young chamberlain in the unusual attire. He ruffled the soft auburn-brown hair with a hand and whispered into Jess' ear, "I'll be waiting right out here. No need to be nervous or anything, my lil bundle of kitten fur."  
  
A light tint of blush colored Jess' face but he didn't give a lip-motion retort. Instead, he nodded like a child and placed his chin over Flik's shoulder. He was aware of Liukan's presence right behind him, waiting patiently for his entrance into the surgery room, but that didn't matter right now. He wrapped his arms about the swordsman's waist, folding his fingers together so that they wouldn't tremble.  
  
"I love you, Flik." Jess breathed the words, only soft huffs of air caressing Flik's ear as he did so. He wanted to say the words in a real voice when they saw each other again several hours later.  
  
Gentle breaths touched his ear and Flik closed both cerulean blue eyes to absorb himself in the lithe body that trembled ever so slightly. He knew what Jess spoke, even though he couldn't see the movement of the lovely lips. Killing the temptation to return "Me, too" and breaking the sweet and silent spell the chamberlain wove into this moment, he pulled away with a look of pure regret.  
  
"Go along now, Jess."  
  
Tea-colored gaze no longer worried, Jess curled his lips in a temporary farewell and followed Liukan behind the white drapery.  
  
"'Everything will turn out for the better, no matter what happens. That's the power we have, triggered with a pinch of hope and determination.' ...Right, Odessa?" Flik whispered to himself, looking down at the sword slung at his waist. Odessa had been a true optimist, unwilling to take any outcome as a crushing failure. She had told him the phrase that was engraved in his mind by now. Glad to remember the encouraging quote at this time, Flik eased down on the wooden chair provided and waited.  
  
**********  
  
"Flik, the best gift you've given me is the will to move on."  
  
Odessa Silverberg smiled beneath the dark night sky, her long auburn-brown hair cascading in the breeze. She stood just a small distance away from the blue-clad swordsman, beneath a large tree that they'd chosen for their camping. Other members of the Liberation Army, including Sanchez and Humphrey, were clustered about the nearby trees, all getting ready to rest.  
  
Strange wonder filled Flik and he didn't dare to interrupt what Odessa wanted to convey to him. Even though he was in her presence, she seemed to be so faraway. Waving tresses almost came into his grasping reach, yet he felt that if he extended his hands, the brown strands would slip through his fingers like a cool stream.  
  
"To be able to love again, not out of loneliness or the need to fill in the vacant space in my life... you gave me that strength." The tea-gazed beauty leaned her back to the tree trunk, almost hiding in the shadow of the leaves.  
  
// I remember this. Not too long before the first meeting with Kohaku McDohl, when we were heading for the underground passage at Lenan Camp... Odessa told me that she loved me. //  
  
Flik sighed in the realization of his dreaming state; contrary to the saying that one would awaken from the slumber once the illusion of dreams wore off, he remained in the soothing dark scene with Odessa. His attention completely upon the welcome ghost of the past, Flik retraced his memory as it was enacted.  
  
"I'm a terrible woman, Flik. I used your warmth to remember // him //. Will you forgive me?"  
  
"You played fair, Odessa," answered Flik, copying his own words in the days gone by. "I knew what you wanted and I was more than glad to give it, even if it hurt me. I loved you the very day we met, remember?"  
  
The shroud of darkness faded into the liquid texture that made Flik shudder. He found himself looking into the border of cold water, through which Odessa still smiled to him. Her face wavered a little in ripples of the invisible wall. Only her voice carried without distorting.  
  
"I love you, Flik. ...Just as you were glad to hear me say this, I'm happy to see you move on."  
  
Slender fingers passed through the water and touched Flik's right cheek, tracing his skin with an ice-cold, soothing touch. Odessa only smiled, her expression frozen yet very sincere.  
  
"No more nightmares for me, eh, Odessa?" Flik murmured, letting the white index finger feel his lips. He kissed it just as he used to, knowing that he would never touch her like this again, waking or sleeping. The nightmares would end; rather than be haunted by Odessa, he'd let her live peacefully within his past.  
  
"No more, Flik. ...Oh, your 'lil bundle of kitten fur' has something to tell you. Go to him." Giving a melodic little laugh, Odessa drew her hand away from the tall mercenary. She no longer seemed melancholic or dreary, but just like a mermaid waving to her prince from the depths of the sea.  
  
"You never change, Odessa." Flik found himself able to laugh with her. He closed his vivid azure eyes, letting the dream come to its closure.  
  
**********  
  
Jess dozed in the clutches of anesthetics, his swan's neck wrapped neatly with white gauze. Liukan went about cleaning the room so that the chamberlain could just rest where he was; the old doctor let Flik in through the drapery, not at all stressed from the surgical works he'd been performing.  
  
"How did it go?" Flik asked in a deliberate calm tone.  
  
"I can't tell until he wakes up, but I did all that I could do."  
  
Liukan excused himself from the section of the room, hurrying off with a tray-full of bloodied gauze and utensils. Glad to be left alone with his lover, Flik helped himself to the exquisite texture of the short brown locks falling across the now-cleaned surgery bed. He knelt so that he could see Jess' delicate profile at the equal eye level.  
  
"Jess, Jess..." Whispering almost in a tune resembling a love song, Flik took up one slack, warm hand from the bed and held it against his face.  
  
Flik had long lost a track of time, but the sun was setting outside of the thin-curtained window. He must have been asleep for a while himself, conversing with Odessa and coming to terms with her presence. He wondered if Jess, too, had dreamed of the lost loved ones during the operation. If so, he wished that Anabelle or others had given the chamberlain the encouragement needed.  
  
  
  
  
NEXT 


	12. Silent Little Mermaid 12

DISCLAIMER: Suikoden 2 and all its elements are properties of KCET. The fanfiction belongs to littlemaiko. Stealing is prohibited.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
~ Silent Little Mermaid 12 ~  
  
  
  
  
Jess watched the white gauze stream down and lengthen toward the wooden floor as Liukan unwrapped his neck with care. Miraculous hands of the old doctor promised so much, yet the young chamberlain had remained silent throughout the short healing period. Three days after the operation and he was finally ready to utter what would prove to be the loss of hope or the joy of speech.  
  
"You are all ready. It shouldn't hurt if you tried to speak." Liukan stroked at his long white beard as he examined Jess' white neck.  
  
Standing right by the wooden stool where his lover sat, Flik retained his own quietness and waited in looming silence. He only placed a hand upon Jess' slender shoulder and rubbed very gently in encouragement.  
  
Pink lips still not moving, Jess gave the god-like doctor a certain look, asking him for privacy. Liukan complied with a knowing, yet not smug, nod. The heavy drapery separating the space of the small house fell back into its wall-like place as soon as the old man exited.  
  
// I wonder if the mermaid felt this way when she tried to speak to the prince after trading her voice for legs... //  
  
Jess held his hands to his throat, fingers touching the scars with some nervousity. His breaths, soft and barely causing rise and fall of his chest or the movement of the windpipe, almost echoes into his ears. It had been a long while since he had last heard himself speak; the exact voice failed his memory, much to his astonishment. One could forget so much over a matter of weeks.  
  
// All that I want is to say a few words. Only a few words. //  
  
Giving himself an unconscious, loose hug about the waist, Jess looked into Flik's beautiful blue eyes. The sight of the vivid color gave him the reassurance to attempt. Delicate face taking on the expression of grave attempt, he parted his lips.  
  
"...Flik..."  
  
The tiny squeak was a definite sound. Flik listened with the utmost care, crushing the urge to give congratulatory kisses. He could read Jess' mind as he would have read the lovely lips. Waiting for the words to follow, he knelt and placed his hands over the chamberlain's ocre-pants-clad knees.  
  
Jess smiled, a bashful little smile tinted with rosy cheeks from the elation rushing through his person. His voice came out soft-pitched, the words tentative and childlike; however, it was enough that he could weave the words to send into Flik's ears.  
  
"I love you, Flik."  
  
**********  
  
Sweet words became premium treats when mingled into a large majority of thorny ones. Flik accompanied Jess whenever he could, hoping to hear the honey-like words amongst the usual retorts. In a way, he mirrored Viktor's action toward Shu; the difference, however, was the while Shu seldom if ever gave obvious words of affection, Jess did so with quite often in an adorable, shy reluctance.  
  
While Jess worked on the figures in the ledger with a professional dilligence, Flik took seat at the rim of the chamberlain's bed. He had some time until the mid-day training with the mercenaries. All he wanted was to bother his bundle of kitten fur into confessing the love over and over. His own immature and illogical action amused him, but such was the effect of hearing the slighty high and uptight baritone.  
  
"Flik, stop acting like a stalking shadow. It has been a week already, so you have no need to be so..." Jess gave an annoyed little frown, trailing off mid-sentence from the laughable puppy-eyed look his lover gave him. Looking resigned, he took off the thin-lensed glasses and sighed like a mother of an impossible child. "...All right. Will you go away and let me work in peace if I told you?"  
  
Smirking with a careful measure of smugness, Flik nodded. "Of course, mister chamberlain." He stretched out his arms, waiting for the lithe body to cuddle within an embrace. He wouldn't take things otherwise.  
  
Jess hid his uplifting mood and walked across the room to make himself the subject of Flik's affectionate hug. He only allowed as far as a peck to a cheek, but he was more than happy to fulfill his end of the bargain. Dropping the irritated tone, he whispered, "I love you."  
  
"I love you, too, Jess."  
  
Flik squeezed the slender chest a little with his arms, careful not to make the hold uncomfortable. At first, what he sought had been a silent ghost from the past, but now...  
  
// A very alive, prissy, proud and over-all sweet lil bundle of kitten-fur, heh. //  
  
Closing his eyes, the swordsman reflected and chuckled ever so softly. Jess began squirming promtly, taking the laughter as a sign of some teasing; forced to let go, but not without first giving a peck to the auburn-brown hair, Flik watched his lover get back to the work desk and take up the glasses.  
  
  
  
  
A prince, chained to the memories of a lost love.  
A mermaid, pining for the love never to be returned.  
A mercenary, trapped in a nightmare of his love's death.  
A chamberlain, forced to become a ghost from the past.  
Two men left behind by those they loved, seeking...  
  
  
  
  
The voice for a beloved silent little mermaid.  
  
  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
